Because life is Random

Summer is great and sucks at the same time. Kids are at each other's throats and stir crazy, and as much as I enjoy the pool and the park, I don't want to spend every singe day there. But asking them to color, read, play, and watch movies at home seems to be unreasonable.

The guy who I've been sort of seeing is nice. Respectful, employed, and very interested. And I think I may break up with him.

Why?

For one we don't have much to talk about when we are together. He works in manufactoring on the night shift, he lives with his mom and two kids and he doesn't seem to have much to say about . . . anything. He talks about people around town, but I'm not one for gossiping and I don't know them so its kinda weird for me.

Also, he's like 25 or 24. That's kinda on the young side. But then I look back at the guys I've dated. The college teacher who slept with me twice and stopped called and texting, the unemplyed guy who parties his life away and thinks I am not good enough to be a girlfriend. And I think I ought to give the guy more of a chance before I write him off. So we going out on a date Saturday and I am gonna try to have an open and adventurous mind.

My brothers are both in Parsons, staying with my aunts and trying to sober up. These are really good things and I am so glad that the relatives are there for them. But I have trouble remaining gracious about it all.

Where were the aunts when we were kids living in hell? Where were the aunts when I was broke and living on dad's couch and nearly suicidal? Why is it that I have had to build up my life and miss out on so much "fun" while my brothers got to go party, and now all I hear about is how great my brothers are doing? What about how well I've always done. Where's my ata girl? And why can't I just be glad for my brothers and not sweat the past?