Eventful

So my lap top's screen has crapped out, rendering the machine basically useless. Its certainly cut into my blogging, facebook stalking, and playing 99 bricks - which is unwinnable anyway so I shouldn't complain.

Also an EF5 tornado hit Joplin and I've spent most of the past five days trying to figure out if my friends there are alright - they seem to be all ok and feeling guilty for having moved and not been hit by a tornado, helpless over so many people needing so much, and knowing that there isn't much I can do. I am an EMT who hasn't worked as such for five years. I have no equipment and am not registered with any rapid response teams. I'd be an body in the way. Plus my kids would need someone to watch them.

So I spend a lot of time texting people and watching the news. www.koamtv.com has streaming news casts now, their may favorite local station.

Also, got into a tiff with Shane. He threatened to get a lawyer if I didn't stop what I was doing, which boils down to him getting a lawyer to tell me to stop telling him that he's a bad father and a worse liar. My new strategy is similar to a break up. I am not going to contact him ever about anything.

I am being wooed. As in a guy is pursuing me. He's nice. No huge fireworks or anything. But he's sweet and quiet and nice. He has two kids. Works the over night shift at a local factory. And he's 5 years younger than I am. That last part makes me a little nervous.

But not so nervous that I won't refuse dinner out and a movie.

Part of me does feel like I am waiting for someone who isn't real or wouldn't want me. I have made so many mistakes in my life, someone looking in from the outside is sure to see them. The three kids I am raising alone. The messy home made is a crappy rental house. The fact that I am kinda fat and a little neurotic. I know I am strong and smart and more gutsy than most people. I know I am loyal to those I am close to, funny with those I am comfortable with, and just plain cool.

But I don't think that combination of characteristics are all that attractive to the opposite gender. So is it wrong to really want a man who is smart, educated, established, and a little older than I am, but go out with quiet, a little younger, and talented but not educated?

Or is it just being open minded?