Dedication or Balance

Which is important?

One of the teachers I work with is great. She cares about this kids, calls parents, hold kids accountable, and the kids enjoy her and like to work with her.

But she is ALWAYS working. She is regularly at school, doing job-related things, until five, six, seven, eight o'clock. She has three small children and I can't help but wonder - Where are her kids during all this? I know she has a cooperative Ex who lives locally and a live in boyfriend who is great with her kids, but still.

One of the biggest reasons I choose to change directions and go into education was the hours. I wanted to be home for dinner, be free on holidays and weekends, and have summers to spend with my kids. Yes, there are well balanced, happy children who's mothers work long or weird hours. But I wanted to be the one there. Now I look at my collegue and I wonder if this super human investment is expected of me, or is something she's taken on herself.

I do feel that sometimes she does for the kids instead of guiding the kids through an assignment. I know we want the kids to pass, but if you write the paper for them, it isn't their work.

I feel like I'm too new at the Sped part of teaching to judge.

My oldest, Isaiah, is trying to break my heart. He refuses to fulfill the simple expectation that he keep his room clean and the areas he uses most picked up. I finally told him to bring ALL the electronic media downstairs. If he has access to it, he watches or plays instead of doing as asked. I also told him that he would be grounded and on cleaning detail until the area was clean. I added, after a week of non-cleaning, that if he ever wants a new pair of shoes, skateboard, clothes, comic book, game, movie, or music, he has to proved to me that he can and will take care of it. So until his room looks like a human boy lives there and not a wild animal, he gets nothing.

I've also caught him in lies. I know he snuch downstairs last night to get the game consol to play all night. I found it up there this morning. He claimed he was going to youth group after school, but went to a friend's house instead. He confessed because he thought I had already figured it out.

I found rolling papers in a storage closet the other day. They may have been left by one of my brothers, but I don't know why they would leave a full pack. I also have some cash missing.

All in all. My son is scaring the shit outta me. He wasn't raised to be like this. He was communicated with all his life about being honest, about taking care of business and being responsible, about how harmful lying and drugs are.

And yet, he seems to be choosing this path that will lead to pain, suffering, and loss in his future. I love him so much and I want so many good things for him and I just don't know what to do.

I've screamed, I yelled, I've grounded, I even smacked him. At this point I feel like I'm tired, like the struggle has become routine.

What do I do to save my son before he damages himself with this behavoir?