I feel like I've lost my brain here lately. I used to be this hyper focused person. I could do school, work, and kids no problem. But now its different. Now its not just temporary until . . . , its life. When its life, its harder to accept the imbalance. I also have friends, distant family, brothers, boyfriend, bills, and hobbies thrown into the mix. And work is highly complicated, the paperwork pays the bills, the working with the kids is how we get results, and teaching is what I love to do.
Sometimes I let the paperwork slide in order to spend more time with kids and teaching. And then I get a verbal spanking, like today, totally my own fault.
I am using the iphone as a traveling organizer, amongst other things. TO be honest, I've almost filled it already, I got the 8Gig model, but I am moving some music back off, and once the pictures and videos are on a hard drive, I delete them from the phone. I may also reduce the apps. I love the free apps. Google translate is fun, but hardly something I need to carry with me. The same can be said for the red laser scanner. And all the free e-text books. Or the free kindle books. I think one book at a time is fine.
Anyway, the organizer aspect is great. I put todo lists with alarms that will go off at my planning period. As new tasks come up, such as meeting notices and things upcoming to deal with, I can enter them into the calender and set an alarm and due date for them. Hopefully as the system stabalizers I'll have fewer issues with forgetting to have done something.
The kids are great. I take for granted how healthy and great they are. My cousin, Opal's, kids all have pretty serious issues. Mary and Laurie both have Celiac, Mary is diabetic, and Hunter is autistic. My other cousin, Autem's, daughter has issues with her being able to urinate. Autem's sister, Amber's, twins were born early and the girl has struggled with breathing, swallowing, and growth issues. She's fine now, but there for a few months, they were afraid they would lose her. Jason's Neice is six months old, she's been in the hospital since she was born with heart flaws. They did a surgery Friday to try to do a final repair. If things had gone right, she would have been able to recover and finally go home. But things didn't go well, her heart was too weak for that. She is on a heart-lung bypass machine and her parents have to decide to take her off or try for a transplant.
My kids are healthy aside from occasional ailments. No malformations, major disabilities, suregies, or health scares. Sometimes they seem to run from one thing that will kill or maim them to another, but I think that may be fairly normal.
I've been having arthitis issues. They never really went away, but they were tolerable and I had figured out how to work around or through them. But lately its gotten worse. I went back to the doctor after the stiffness in my hand caused me to close my own finger in the door. The medicine she gave me works pretty well. I take it once a day, at night, and it supresses inflammation. IT takes care of the minor stiffness and achiness that I had gotten used to. But it didn't even begin to touch the excruciating pain in the fingers of my right hand. That has been getting steadily worse, even since the new medication. Its so bad I can't grip a pen in order to write legible. Its painful to bend or flex my fingers, pulling on something, such as a door or to lift a bag, is also painful.
I called back today and ended up with another medication that I can take on top of the first if I need to. I tried some this evening, and it did a nice job. Its not horrible, but its still there, and I don't feel drugged or sedated.
I also have to go in Friday for labs. I think they are going to run the Rhumatoid tests again. One the one hand, I am glad that something positive is happening, but on the other I really don't want the medical bills or to be one of those people who's got to take meds, and who's body isn't as whole and pain-free as it looks.
I don't want to become someone who's talking about how much it hurts or what they take for meds or how many doctors they have to visit.
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