Define "deserve"

So, I've been thinking about this idea that we deserve this or that. We deserve respect. We all deserve kindness and compassion not matter what. But do we deserve lots and lots of material things?

That, I'm not so sure about. I wish I could say that part of the appeal of being in a romantic relationship wasn't the fact that it all wouldn't be on me. But, asmuch as I love him, I am afraid that chris is going to at least leave me with all the financial responsibility. He says he wants to go to nursing school, but he's blown off the last few semesters of school. If he can't finish a few low level courses (remedial math, English, Biology), how does he think he can do nursing school?

And, if he is otherwise loving and supportive, do I have any business feeling like he needs to be able to make more money? I make ok money, we aren't going to starve to death without extra income. I do know I will resent it if I end up having to cover his expenses. Our deal now tends to be that I pay him $100 for my share of the phone bill and he contributes a couple of hundred for his share of the rent and groceries. I don't count every penny he contributes, but I know it seems like as soon as he is paid,, he pays his bills and he has less than $100 left for gas and cigarretes, and his share of expenses. I know he likes kitchen stuff and technology as much as I do, but I am not great at being generous to adults.

I'm not sure what my point is, other than that nothing ever turns out the way we intended it and as adults, we should be able to accept that. At the same time, I never wanted to be the bread winner again. I'm not sure how to balance the idea that we are equals with the fact that he wants certain things, that it looks like I am going to be on the hook to pay for.

I'm rambling, its because I didn't think all this out before I started writing. But I'm still thinking its good to try to get all out.