And that's okay, because I'm a busy girl. Got shit to do, places to go, people to answer to. Sometimes I miss the days of being unemployed, penniless, and carless. Life was so much simpler. And I wieghed about thirty pounds less than I do right now. I'd swear off the car, get a bike with one of those super cute little hitches and ride my self and kids all over, but I live thirty miles from where I work, and I'm a big whinny wuss who would back out before I got to the grocery store. I guess that's what they mean by "know thyself", and in "know what thy self is really willing to do before spending the cash". Or something like that.
See how clever I am when I haven't posted in a while?
Anyway, developments. Still taking the celexa. Most of the side effects have backed off, as has the feeling that I am on some sort of medication. I can tell that I am mellower, ghost whisperer and animal cops doesn't make me cry anymore, but I still enjoy them. I am not perfect. Digestive issues still making my days interesting. Doc probably going to make me get a colonoscopy. Not something I look forward to. I have an appointment tuesday to see for sure what she wants to do with me.
Kids are good. Isaiah is in some ways such a big kid now it astounds me. He has taken to wanting to cook for us all. I don't mind it either, until he melted the kitchen sheers on a burner. That smelled GREAT. He's been demoted back to chicken nuggets and pb&j.
Between work and classes and keeping up with the house, I am just jumping from one task to another. I like the special ed stuff, but I feel like the proffesor is making some assumptions about what I already know, that are false and like I am always either faking my way through things or just plain playing catch up. I hope I can get a public teaching job for next year.
Work is going ok. This health stuff has me missing more days than I wanted. And I am sure that's a stressor on the boss and they system. But this is my health and it isn't worth 23.5K a year. I still like the kids, and I like what's going on in my classrooms this year. In my biology one class we are doing the three Es, ecology, evolution, and ecosystems. I'm showing a video on the life cycle of our sun tuesday, while the religon teachers are telling the kids that the dinosaurs aren't real.
Ahh, I miss summer. I wish saturday came twice a week. Some days I feel like I don't see my kids unless I'm getting them out of bed or putting them down. I just realized that in a week it will be my 28th birthday. I shouldn't be that old yet.
Sometimes I still feel like I'm sixteen with my whole life ahead of me and all that possibility. I still have creative, adventurous things I want to do and to try and to contribute. But right now I am bogged down in routine with no escape in sight.
That isn't exactly true. I just need to get a job that pays about 12K more a year than I currently make. That would get me off state assistance and let me pretty much maintain our current life style. I need to be just a teach. Not a teach and a graduate student and a single mom with creepy health stuff going on. Teacher and mom, that I can do.
I'm still tired of doing it all by my self though. Its my life, and there isn't any one thing i would point at and say "that, that can go away", but I do wish I weren't so ragged tired all the time.
Anyway, I've typed too long, I'm rambling. Have a good week all, I doubt I'll have much time to blogg before next weekend.
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