Re-Cap

Well lets see here.

I moved. Tom tried to round up helpers at the last minute because he seems to think I'm some sort of weakling, but we did it all ourselves (well, except for our awesome new neighbors who helped unload the truck a bit). In fact, I now call bullshit on Tom's assertion that he's some sort of super hard worker.

He complains a lot. He takes for ever to get going on a job and (I suspect because of his diet) he's always taking bathroom breaks. He also complains about aches and pains in his body like he's an old guy, he's a year younger than me.

Meanwhile, I am not accustomed to physical labor and after moving my whole house in a single day, all I felt was a little muscle stiffness the next day.

The new house is nice, feels like home for the most part. Having more room is so nice, although I had to get onto Tom because even though he has his own room now, he still started a movie and went to be, leaving it running. He also really wants me to take Isaiah's lap top and matress and give them to Tom to use, just because he's the grown up.

I drawn the line at letting my unemployed brother take my kid's stuff. He is welcome to get his own job and buy his own stuff.

In general, the Tom situation is driving me nuts. He's got this girlfriend who is always over with her kids. She smokes and he goes outside with her when she does, leaving me inside with my kids plus hers and I never volunteered to be a babysitter while they canoodled outside. It also annoys me that they will show up and Tom will play the charming uncle figure with her kids, but bark at mine if they come into the room. He will invite me to play board games with them or what ever, and then as soon as she leaves, he's off hiding somewhere, not interested in playing with Isaiah.

Its like he puts on this gregacious show for her and he doesn't even realize it. Drives me nuts to see, because he still seems to think he needs to ride Isaiah's ass all day. I stepped in today when he wanted to call Isaiah down to redo something. He'd done it the way I would have, so I told Tom to do it himself if he didn't like how it was done.

The fact that she's over with her kids for hours is an issue because I grew up in a family that treated hospitality like they did in olden times. You do not fix and eat food in front of people unless you intend to share it. You do not have people in your house and not act like a host, letting them determine TV, music, food, toys, games that are played or what have you. I can't afford to feed everyone night after night, but I can't bring myself to fix a meal for my children and not offer it to hers too (not just because her kids are tiny and always asking for food- she's on a diet and I think its affecting the kiddos).

Part of me almost is rooting for Tom to decide to play house with her. I'm in a place with much lower rent so I can actually afford a sitter, and his being gone would mean a smaller food bill.

Seeing her around him just lets me know what a lousy girl friend I'd make. I don't think a grown man needs a woman to spoil him. I wouldn't. I don't want to spend all evening, every evening, with a boyfriend at his house or him at mine, I just want a nice man to maybe watch movies with and talk with. I feel like I want the relationship, but not the disruption in routine. If that makes any sense.

Which maybe means I am destined to either be alone all my life, or accept that F-buddies is as good as I will get.

I don't like either option to be honest.

Kids have settled into the new place well. Animals have too. After a minor adventure with the heater involving leaking gas, fire, and paniced phone calls, I'm ready to say the place feels like home.