My kids can't. Well, Isaiah probably could, but he spent the other night puking and was queasy and tender Thursday, so he stayed home then and again today. Noah has a fever that makes him clingy and cranky. Gideon is also feverish and irritable. So, after I worked sick two days, I'm still missing work this week.
The ironic thing is that I made the desicion to keep them home yesterday evening. Now they are all rough housing upstairs. Oh well, I tried.
Being home all day, I have time on my hands. Not always a safe thing. I've been doing some deep thinking about my presnt, my past, and my future. And my goals.
I've made so many mistakes in the past, I could write a "what not to do in life" book. Financially, I was horrible. When I was a child, money wasn't talked about other than that we were poor and couldn't afford a lot of eating out, trendy clothes, vacations or expensive toys. We had food, clothes, toys and fun, just modest ones.
When I was a teen and started working, I pretty much was free to spend as much as I made. I saved up for a car because I wanted one. When I got it, I paid my own insurance, gas, and upkeep. I got credit cards because they sent me offers and I filled them out and sent them back.
By the time mom died I was working part time, going to college on grants and loans, and getting VA money. My monthly income was $1400, the state paid my daycare and I had food stamps. I also had no savings. I contributed to some groceries at home, but mostly I just blew through it.
On what? I have no idea. Junk food (I had horrible eating habits) books, clothes, food, music. Who knows. I didn't save any of it. Then mom died. Dad didn't have a job, my youngest brother was in foster care, and we were going to loose the house.
I can blame grief, and ignorance, but its my name on everything. I bought a mobile home, put it on a rented lot and tried to use my income to pay lot rent, car payment, mortgage, food, gas ect for myself, Isaiah, dad, Mike, and eventually, Tom and his girlfriend. I couldn't do it. Dad was supposed to work, but everything he made went to booze, the guys ate up all the food, and I couldn't cover the utility bills.
I gave up and moved to low income housing in Pittsburg. My aunt, who had cosigned the house (because the bank knew what I didn't) was left to deal with the home. She got it sold and paid off and told me not to worry about it. She's a much better person than I give her credit for sometimes.
Anyway, I had a lot of bills that I just didn't pay. Even up until two or three years ago, if something came in the mail and it wasn't a matter of the power or phone getting shut off, I'd toss it away.
So part of setting any goals for myself has to include addressing that. So I pulled my credit reports from free annual credit report.
I have three judgments on my report - two are paid in full. The other is a car that was repossessed. I have several accounts from cell phone carried, cable providers and doctors that are in collections. And a couple of credit cards.
The accounts on the different reports aren't all the same, but it looks like around three to five thousand dollars. I think if I stick to a monthly budget and focus on getting out of debt that I can get it paid off in a year or 18 months. I know that wont make my credit rating perfect right away. But it has to help.
That leaves the $85K or so I have in student loans. Thanks to a merciful repayment programs I can tie my payments to my income. Right now they will be about $60 a month. If my income goes drastically up or down, they will be readjusted. I don't know how that will affect my credit. But if I pay on time for ten years they cancel, I think they may cancel sooner because I teach in a high need, low income area. I'm locked in to the consolidated income based repayment, the cancellations may go away based on legislation, so I don't want to count on it.
So, why is this important to me? I'm pretty comfortable right now. I spend everything that I make. We eat and play well and have more media, computer, phone, movies ect than anyone needs. The kids and I have clothes, bedding, and toys.
But I waste an incredible amount of money on crap the I don't end up getting any real value for.
I live in a rented home that is ugly, poorly maintained, and inefficient. I want to be able to buy a house. Not for an investment, but for a place that's mine that I can alter at I see fit.
I want to be able to be the kind of person that makes plans further than 30 days in the future. That means being able to save money, stick with a budget, put off immediate gratification, and make priorities to make that happen.
Its like I'm transitioning from a purely survival mode, to a more middle class, long range planning mindset. In another post I'm going to enter my spending and income for the month of November. Its an odd month because I spent 225 on holiday food (Thanksgiving roast and Christmas cookies), 600 on setting up new phone services (split between two pay periods, but the same month), and 400 on Christmas presents. All the other bills are paid and gorceries comfortably bought. So there's definitely room to start paying towards old bills and establishing a real savings.
I don't know if Iola, Kansas is where I'll eventually settle and buy a dream house. I like my job, but I don't know if its my forever job. But I want to be able to buy a house when I know its right.
No comments:
Post a Comment