He's texted and chatted online with me everyday. I must be more charming and alluring than I give myself credit for. Trying to distance myself from Jason, not contacting him, not opening chat windows, not texting or emailing him when I am bored or frustrated.
Its kinda hard though, I don't hate him, he isn't a bad man and I'd still gladly be his friend. But that's all I will or can be to him. And I need some serious time to do that well. Because to be honest, I really had (have?) some deep, caring feelings for him that he couldn't (can't) or wouldn't (won't?) return. I know there were issues there. But if you care about someone enough, you will give them a status in your life and start making some common goals with the aim of ironing out those issues.
So, NEXT! If I can fall for an unemployed, uneducated, irresponsible single dad. I can fall for someone with more education (the new guy has an MS in biology), more employment (The new guy teaches at a junior college) and fewer issues with responsibility (I actually don't know yet, but that's what dating is for, right?)
Work continues to be work. Some days its fun, some days not so much. I've been having trouble sleeping lately, I go to bed and toss and turn and end up reading until late, then I can't get up in the morning to get ready for work. I feel exhausted all day, when the students pick up on it, its like blood in the water. Its not pretty.
I've been dieting. I realize this may have something to do with the lack of energy. But when you strip away all the mumbojumbo of the medical yahoos and the diet industry one fact reamains: in order to loose weight, you have to eat few calories than you burn over time. I try to compensate with the use of caffeinated drinks, also I realize, not all that healthy. I keep telling myself that I will adapt.
In the mean time, I'm 20 lbs lighter than I was this time a year ago, my clothes either fit better or fall off. Which is a good thing.
The new guy, from now on N, says I'm irresistible. That's good, right?
1 comment:
Good for you twenty pounds of butter gone. Good luck on your new Beau.
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