LIVID

The kids went to their dad's house this weekend. I went and got them this evening. I have decided on a strict non-speaking policy with the asshat. Less likely to have something unpleasant come out of my mouth that way.

So I pulled up in front of his house and the kids came out into the yard and Gideon immediatly bursts into tears. He won't tell me why he was so upset other than to say he missed me. This is not normal for him. He's had over nights with his dad, his uncles, and spent a month at a time with his Grampa. He's missed me, but he's never cried on seeing me.

Isaiah says his dad asked him to move in with him. The man plans to move to Main in March. Maine. Showed him online where he thinks they will be living, and the skate park down the road. He wants Isaiah to spend Christmas and Spring break with him as well as the summer. This would all be without the little dudes.

Can I say this pisses me off? I can't communicate my feelings on this because there are so many levels of ticked that go with it.

I'm pissed that his father is showing such an interest on the eve of moving from the area. I'm pissed he isn't including the little dudes in this. I'm pissed the man is moving. I'm pissed he's selling this fairytale life when I'm the one who has to enforce homework and curfews and chores.

How can life with me compete with skate parks and fun and games? I need him to babysit after school most days and harp on him for spending his allowance at the convience store up the road. I make him put sheets on his bed and go to bed at a decent time.

I've also always been there for him. I have made specific choices in my life, that were not always my "first choice" to insure that he had as much normalcy and stability as possible. I have provided shelter, food, clothing, and transportation. I have raised a boy who is kind, helpful, funny, and just a nice kid.

And now the asshole wants him? Now?

Pissed can't cover it. I feel so deeply about this that its hard to explain. Its unreal.