Excuse me while I rant a bit

I am a 30 year old woman with three beautiful kids, a job I love, a community I enjoy and friends I care about. I make enough money to comfortably meet our basic needs with a little left over for spoiling the kids. I have no reason to complain. But I am going to anyway and it all boils down to envy. I know that envy is a black burden to carry and that if I can let go of it I will be a happier person. But I can't seem to. See, here's the problem. I was a good kid. I wasn't rebellious, I wasn't obstinate or defiant. I didn't lie to my parents or steal from them or destroy their property. I got pregnant as a teenager, but I never quit school. I worked and paid for all his needs, like clothing and formula, myself. I got state assistance for daycare. I even bought my own car. I didn't leave the baby with my mom and dad so I could go party. But I grew up having to walk on eggshells. My mom was so unstable that if she percieved an imagined slight, she would go into a fit, and throw the offending kid to the curb. My dad was living with a woman who didn't want to have anything to do with his kids, so it was hard enough to see him, the idea of going to him if mom threw me out was laughable. I paid for my own expenses and rent to my mom and bought household groceries on top of it all. Then mom was dead and I was having to support my dad, my brothers and myself and my kid. No one helped me. No one swooped in and said "here, let me make your life easier". And why would they? I wasn't there kid. I wasn't their problem. I was the teen mom daughter of the black sheep of the family. Fast forward ten years. My cousins are all grown now. Some of them are married. And the help they get from their parents and my grandfather is hard to be blind to. Grampa wouldn't even cosign a car loan for me when my car was breaking down. He gives money to my cousin as a gift. Because he's proud of her. I had to live in government housing to finish college, I worked three jobs and twice the police banged in my door because they had the wrong address. DO you know how hard it is to convince a swat team they are at the wrong place? My cousin, who was a bad kid, who was terrifyingly promiscouce, who is shallow and trite and just not a very nice person is always rubbing the help she gets from her mom in my face. I don't know if she does it on purpose or if she's just clueless. She announces that she picked her bank so it would be easier for her mom to transfer money into her account. She gets her folks to pay part of her rent so she can live in a nice part of town and not have to get a roommate. She just got her mom to buy her a new car because the clunker she had been driving was unreliable. And then the next day she's on facebook praying about accepting hardships. Her sister, who is my age, is a nitwit. She creates all this drama because of the men she chooses to keep company with. Her kids all have issues and aside from getting SSI for them, she doesn't really watch the issues closely - her diabetic daughter almost died because she was letting the kid check her own blood sugar and not making sure she was being accurate about it. Her mom is talking about buying her a nice house and letting her rent it cheaply. This is less than five years after they cosigned her mortgage and she married an idiot and moved out of her own house when the marriage went south. The house ended up in forclosure. I know that people will do things for their own kids that they wont do for their nieces. I know that I can provide for all these needs that others are providing for my cousins. But I can't quit feeling resentful. I keep wondering what the hell I did to end up shut out. Also, I hate the new blogger format. It publishes everything in a huge block of text, that's not how I typed it.