I've lost my keys. I remember getting home yesterday and looking for Isaiah with them and my phone in my hand. I remember finding Isaiah at the house across the alley with the dog and the kid that lives there. I remember rounding up my little boys and taking them home so their brother could play a while with the big kids.
I have no memory or when or where I set the keys down. Usually I can remember things like this.
So this morning I had to get my brother out of bed to bring me the extra key to my car. HE did, but he was cranky and it made me late for work. Not super late, but late enough that it was noticed.
I get to school and basically, its over. Last day is a week from friday. The school doesn't do finals, and there isn't enough time to be presenting new material. I have a handful of kids who are way behind and owe me work or who have very low grades that are working on some make-up work. Everyone else is pretty much watching movies. I try to make it educational in that I have them write down cases of scientific false-hood or out right impossibility and we discuss it for a few minutes at the end of class.
Well, boss comes in and lectures me about "using the whole hour" , "Keeping them busy" and "looking professional". Aparently there is a parent meeting coming up and they "just aren't happy with the science department at McAuley.
Uhm hello, its the end of the year. There isn't time to re-work the whole curriculum. I am not going to try to force them through a lesson in the next six days.
Oh, my room is a bit cluttered. Uhm, yeah, its a room where people work. It's actually better than it was a while ago, I've been de-cluttering as I go. I want everything in, graded, and returned by the last day of school. I guess that's unreasonable of me.
Truth is, if people who know what they are talking about have an honest critique, I'd be happy to listen and be willing to rework things for next year. But I know what this is about. My boss is not popular in the system. There are a lot of people who want him gone. These same people will nit-pick at everything in the school, including the young new science teacher. The boss is incapable of recognizing that his lack of real leadership is at the heart of most problems there, so he turns any complaints around on someone else.
So, that incedent was nerve wracking and pointless, yippee!
TO make matters worse, still can't seem to shake this crud in my nose, throat and chest. I take my medicine and it makes the symptoms better, but they seem to just migrate. A chest that wheezes and produces nasty crud when I cough becomes sinuses that won't stop draining and make my tonsils hurt.
Oh, and my boss wants me to submit a "plan" for "backup" so I don't miss as much work next year taking care of sick kids. Uhm, I don't think he can do that, can he?
Fucking hate that place right now. Fucking hate the fact that I apply and apply and apply for different jobs and never get hired. Fucking hate the fact that no matter what i have done with my life, I am not and never will be good enough. Not for the job I want, not for the kind of life I want, not for the people I currently work for, and not for the kind of future I want for myself.
Just not fucking good enough.
I hate it.
No comments:
Post a Comment