Like the new look?

The site that was providing my free background apparently decided it didn't like me anymore. And blogger has improved their formatting tools, so this is what I ended up with.

Having a meloncholy weekend. Its partially my own fault. And yes, its relationships stuff.

I'm so bad at this stuff. I am not smooth with the guys and while I'm not ulgy by any means, I am invisible. I don't get noticed. Not in a way that seems to translate into being seen as attractive. So, when any male pays me attention, I tend to soak it up in the moment and think later.

But the thing is, if I'm dating him, then I want his attention. At least a phone call or a quick text saying hi, how are ya, what's bugging you today. But we go days without talking or texting or chatting. At first I was okay with that situation. But now, as things have gone on for a few months, I'm not.

If we're a couple, I want us to act like a couple, even if we don't physically see each other that often because of the distance. And if he doesn't want us to be a couple, then I need to stop seeing him, because he's too far away and has too many issues to be a mister right now.

Speaking of issues, his keep multiplying or being revealed. Like the layers of an onion. But he isn't a cuddly ogre. He's a complicated human being who diserves not to be lead on by someone who has emotional intimacy issues but craves physical attention.

If that makes any sense.

I didn't break up with him. I sent him a text saying "had a great time last night, but I need to ask, do you consider us to be a couple?"

Haven't heard anything from him since. Seems like its a pretty effective method of ending a not so relationship.

I know letting this end is the right thing to do. But I still feel a little blah.

I like being in a relationship, dating, having a fella to share my life with. Is that so wrong?

Guess I'll have to give it time.