This is an email I got from the asshatt after that bad Saturday a week ago last weekend. IF you remember, I had had a seriously bad day and told Isaiah to call his dad to come get him and his brothers.
I would highly suggest that you read this ENTIRE email, word for word, rather than scanning it for what you find interesting, as is your usual.
After this past Saturday night's little problem, I am NO LONGER pandering to you and your every whiney little whim.
You have a temper problem. And I am not going to mess around with your temper any more.
Regardless of what you think of me, or what I have done in the past, I am a person and I will not allow you to treat me this way any longer, period. I don't have to put up with it, and I am not gonna put up with it.
I will come and get the boys this Saturday morning, between 10:00 and 11:00 AM. But I will NOT meet you at your house. I have lost all trust I ever had in you, and so I am naming the following conditions for visitation exchanges:
We will make the exchange of the boys at the Iola Police Department. If you don't know where that is, Google it. But I am not going to meet you at your home any more, nor will you meet me at mine. You can pick the boys up any time between 7:00 pm and 8:00 pm, Sunday night, at the Altamont Police Station. You can text me when you get to Parsons or nearby, and I will take them down there and wait on you. Once again, if you don't know where it is, Google it. There will be an officer present.
Those are my terms. Take it, or leave it. You are not hurting my feelings by withholding visitation, you are only hurting the boys. Regardless of what you may think, they have a good time here and we all love each other very much.
These are the SAME arrangements that I will stick to, until we have established visitation via court order. And then, once that happens, well, I will STILL make exchanges at police stations. As is my right to do so, according to the laws of the state of Kansas.
I will no longer answer phone calls from you. Period. I will answer them from Isaiah, any time he chooses to call. But if you take the phone, I will IMMEDIATELY hang up. I am not going to listen to your angry rants any longer. I will also no longer listen to any voicemails you choose to leave. I have an auto delete feature and I don't even have to hear them.
You may text me in emergency situations, and if I feel that a phone call is a necessity, I will initiate it. Not you.
Hateful or spiteful or disrespectful emails will be SAVED, and PRINTED, and offered as evidence in court if necessary. This won't be hard for me to do, since I have saved EVERY single email you have sent me, and that I have sent you, since I started using my current email address over 3 years ago.
Now, that being said, I will leave you with this.
I was completely within my right to contact state officials about your behavior this weekend, but I chose not to. I called police because when my 12 year old son calls me in tears over how his mother is acting, I am completely right to do so. And no matter how angry or upset you were about it, if the shoe had been on the other foot you would have done precisely the same thing and probably more.
Nobody in this whole wide world owes you a DAMN thing, me included. If you find that you are unable to handle being a mother to our children at any time, feel free to drop them off here with me. They will always have a home here, be loved and taken care of. I will handle that. I will NEVER deny you visitation, and I will not even ask you to pay child support. I will choose to waive that. I don't need it from you and never will.
Let me know about this weekend, if you want me to have the boys. You have my terms. I will not deviate from them, period.
After this past Saturday night's little problem, I am NO LONGER pandering to you and your every whiney little whim.
You have a temper problem. And I am not going to mess around with your temper any more.
Regardless of what you think of me, or what I have done in the past, I am a person and I will not allow you to treat me this way any longer, period. I don't have to put up with it, and I am not gonna put up with it.
I will come and get the boys this Saturday morning, between 10:00 and 11:00 AM. But I will NOT meet you at your house. I have lost all trust I ever had in you, and so I am naming the following conditions for visitation exchanges:
We will make the exchange of the boys at the Iola Police Department. If you don't know where that is, Google it. But I am not going to meet you at your home any more, nor will you meet me at mine. You can pick the boys up any time between 7:00 pm and 8:00 pm, Sunday night, at the Altamont Police Station. You can text me when you get to Parsons or nearby, and I will take them down there and wait on you. Once again, if you don't know where it is, Google it. There will be an officer present.
Those are my terms. Take it, or leave it. You are not hurting my feelings by withholding visitation, you are only hurting the boys. Regardless of what you may think, they have a good time here and we all love each other very much.
These are the SAME arrangements that I will stick to, until we have established visitation via court order. And then, once that happens, well, I will STILL make exchanges at police stations. As is my right to do so, according to the laws of the state of Kansas.
I will no longer answer phone calls from you. Period. I will answer them from Isaiah, any time he chooses to call. But if you take the phone, I will IMMEDIATELY hang up. I am not going to listen to your angry rants any longer. I will also no longer listen to any voicemails you choose to leave. I have an auto delete feature and I don't even have to hear them.
You may text me in emergency situations, and if I feel that a phone call is a necessity, I will initiate it. Not you.
Hateful or spiteful or disrespectful emails will be SAVED, and PRINTED, and offered as evidence in court if necessary. This won't be hard for me to do, since I have saved EVERY single email you have sent me, and that I have sent you, since I started using my current email address over 3 years ago.
Now, that being said, I will leave you with this.
I was completely within my right to contact state officials about your behavior this weekend, but I chose not to. I called police because when my 12 year old son calls me in tears over how his mother is acting, I am completely right to do so. And no matter how angry or upset you were about it, if the shoe had been on the other foot you would have done precisely the same thing and probably more.
Nobody in this whole wide world owes you a DAMN thing, me included. If you find that you are unable to handle being a mother to our children at any time, feel free to drop them off here with me. They will always have a home here, be loved and taken care of. I will handle that. I will NEVER deny you visitation, and I will not even ask you to pay child support. I will choose to waive that. I don't need it from you and never will.
Let me know about this weekend, if you want me to have the boys. You have my terms. I will not deviate from them, period.
Note the big deal he makes about me being unfit to parent because for a few hours I needed the children out of my hair.
That email was followed by this one
I am guessing since, I have not heard from you, the boys will not be coming down this weekend...
Today I got this:
I have to work this coming weekend. I will be unavailable to take the boys, if you were entertaining having them come down.
Isaiah's birthday is coming up. He has requested a gift card from Gamestop in Pittsburg. That is what I am going to get him. Since I have asked for your address on a number of occasions and never gotten it, I have decided that I will just take it myself to his school sometime near his birthday and drop it off in an envelope there for him. That is, if you are still in the mindset that you just do not want to talk to me, or let me see the kids.
I have already contacted the school. Since there is no legal paperwork stating that I have been barred 100% from seeing the kids, I have permission from the principal, Mr. Stanley, to drop it off there.
I WILL be available next weekend (Oct 1st & 2nd), so far as I know.
Isaiah's birthday is coming up. He has requested a gift card from Gamestop in Pittsburg. That is what I am going to get him. Since I have asked for your address on a number of occasions and never gotten it, I have decided that I will just take it myself to his school sometime near his birthday and drop it off in an envelope there for him. That is, if you are still in the mindset that you just do not want to talk to me, or let me see the kids.
I have already contacted the school. Since there is no legal paperwork stating that I have been barred 100% from seeing the kids, I have permission from the principal, Mr. Stanley, to drop it off there.
I WILL be available next weekend (Oct 1st & 2nd), so far as I know.
To which I replied:
So, I'm a bad, horribly, whiny person with a temper problem because one day in 365 I needed to have the other parent take the kids, but you regularly cannot see them and its ok?
You are welcome to treat me with respect, which means not sending me belligerent emails in which you imply both threats and things that are not true. And you are welcome to maintain a regular visitation schedule with your children. Many adults work who have kids. Very few claim that because of work they cannot parent. But you do?
When you can treat me with the respect I have earned as the sole care-taker, provider, wound kisser, boy scout driver, homework tutor, teacher and houser of these children and act with the humility that a man who doesn't support his kids and isn't interested in parenting time with his kids should act. Then you can have time with them.
In practical terms that means: You don't get to dictate terms, you don't get to call schools and make trouble, you don't have the right to call me names or tell me when I can and cannot contact you.
If you want to see the kids, you will let me know when you will arrive in Iola, you will come to my home or a park (if its above 60 degrees and sunny) and you will wait out in the yard until they are ready to go. You will not enter my house or say one word in my presence that isn't a response to the question "will they need their play shoes?" or "when will they be ready to be picked up?"
I will not be going to any police stations to get them or drop them with you.
He's already replied:
Nothing that I have said to you is not a lie in any way, nor illegal. I made no threats, I simply informed you of what my legal rights are. How you choose to take that, is on you.
However, yes, I WILL dictate terms, because on that one day in 365 you decided to try to bully me into getting what you wanted. So, therefore, my terms still stand. I really don't care if you like it. And no, I caused no trouble with the school. In fact, Mr. Stanley assured me that it was NO TROUBLE and told me he understands completely. He was happy to help.
If you don't like it, and what I say, too bad. You don't get to shut down and decide what is right or wrong whenever I stand up to you. Just because I don't cater to your every whim, doesn't mean you get to dictate terms.
So, if you can't agree to my terms, I will put every resource I have available into an attorney and see you in court.
If you CAN agree to them, well, then I will maintain that visitation schedule with my children.
You don't get to push me around and tell me what I can and can't do. And THAT'S the truth.
To Which I will say:
"every resource" from the man who pays less than a hundred dollars a month in child support and provides no clothing, school fees, medical insurance or extracurriculars? I'm terrified.
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