CRAP!

Sometimes shit just starts happening too fast. I has another surprise day off today. My students didn't show up. I am a bit adversly inclined to doing other peoples' inventory. So, I went home.

Except I didn't go home. I went to Pittsburg again. I turned in all the housing paperwork I had picked up last time. I paid off a bit of money I owed from a few years ago.

And I visited with the dean of teacher education. She encouraged me to start this summer. As in MAY!

And all off a sudden this thing I have been contemplating and flirting with for months is so close. And then its like, how do I move! I Don't have a load of local friends to haul my stuff and I can't seem to get ahold of my worthless siblings lately.

I really think that this is the right thing to do. I never wanted to settle here permanetly. Its just been cowardise and circumstance that has kept me here for so long. The people I mived here to be near have left and the people I thought I could trust have proven to be unworthy.

So, I think we're moving. I'm gonna be a gorilla again. Isaiah is a bit upset about the whole thing. But I think that he will make friends fairly easily. And who knows, maybe I'll end up teaching here when I'm done.

Still, dad won't be happy. He figures that if I move, I need to go to tennessee. It would be nice if someone was just rooting for me. Not rooting for me to make the choice they wanted to make. Not rooting for me to conform to their ideals of what a mother and woman and christian should be. Just rooting for me.

Ah well. The truth of the matter is that I have been alone since mom died. And even before then it wasn't like there was a lot of support and guidance there. WE'll be okay. I know we will.