Is anybody out there?

Two blogs I read have been unchanged for a disturbign amount of time, and it seems no one is coming here. The warm weather must have convinced them that they have better things they could be doing. Still. Makes me sad. Turns out, I do care is people read.

I must go out and get all angsty and interesting again. Or not. Borring is borring, but also a sign of stability. Must take it as a good thing.

Truth be told, I like being borring. I have a student at work who likes to tease me about being borring and unfullfilled. If you knew this kid, you'd laugh. He is very intelligent and likes to talk and banter with adults more then other kids.

Anyway, I know that to a kid or even to another adult, my life of work, kids and church probably looks terribly dull. But it isn't. I gripe about work, but I think that is about the only thing I would change. And that is mostly a matter of needing to be able to earn more then I currently can.

Its exciting and a bit of an adventure, these three kids of mine. I think we will probably be movign to pitsburg. It will be a bit scary at first. But I really don't have any family holding me here now. The people I do have here are nice, butI can't trust them, not after the SRS fiasco (the case went dormant today, means they think I have my shit together and that they have better things to do then hassle me).

So, I am okay with be a borring, frumpy, oveweight sinlge mom. I Think now and then that it would be really nice to not be single, but I think I like being in charge to much to really be a good wife or even girlfriend. I don't think I could ever shut that off. The always being on duty. Its hard to explain.

I know that when I was first on my own, the scariest part was being the one who shut all the lights off when it was time to go to bed. Being the one who sat up all night making sure that the storms or whatever wasn't going to get us. The night watches, they were the worst. Now I can't imagine not beign that person. Now, I can't stand to go to bed or to sleep with someone else up and around in the home.