God and his humor

So, I was despondant last week about the fact that I hadn't been hired, called back for a follow up interview, or even recruited. Which is what lead to investigating another Master's program and resigning myself to two more years of the student-full time employee-mom juggle. I signed the contract at McAuley (23.5k versus 36.4K in a public school, it hurts) and informed my students that I would most definitely be there next year. 

My boss is relieved, he has a new grandbaby he would rather play with then interview science teachers. My students seemed relieved too. I was relieved, not happy about the pay situation, but I like to have a plan, something set and tangible, its limbo that screws with my head and makes me all sorts of anxious. 

I emailed back and forth with the apartment manager and his boss a they agreed that renewing a lease and giving a tentative move out date do not constitute a leagally binding cancelation and so they aren't going to make me move out of this place only to move into another. All I need to do is sign (yet another) a form and show them a schedual of classes for next fall to be eligible to stay here. 

I am looking forward to seeing dad and getting this road trip started, but I feel like I need to be here. Sucks though. That's a long drive and it isn't worth the trouble unless you stay a few days once you've done it. I have most of the clothes we are taking packed. I don't need as many because I wont be staying as long, I'm sending almost everything that fits and is season appropriate with the boys. Last year they only took a few clothes and dad ended up buying them more there, they can't afford that this year. 

I am also planning on leaving the food stamp card and a prepaid cash card with dad, the food stamps are for the kids, I don't have a right to keep it if they are goign to be gone for several weeks. The cash is a just in case sort of thing. I don't plan on staying a terribly long time, but I've got another prepaid card with cash for gas and sundries on it. I know its probably plenty, and I hesitate to drain my checking account, but I am also afraid of not having enough. I get a little panicy about money. COmes from not having enough for so long I think.

SO, its after ten, I've been folding laundry and grading papers and packing  clothes and mopping floors, I should be tired and in bed, but I'm wired. Last night I took a sleeping pill and ended up over sleeping this morning. I can't win. I think its the weather. I don't sleep well when its too warm, but I am loath to turn on the air yet. So I am being banal online instead.