Why I hate Mother's Day

I have been a single mom the entire time I've been a mom. When I was a new mom, the first year my oldest was born, I was still an 'unwed teen mom' and felt like, and to some extent, treated like I didn't count as a mother's day mom.

I don't have a spouse who wants to fawn over me on mother's day to thank me for raising his children. My own children are all very young and if I want them to get me something I have to save the money for it, tell them what to get and hope they comply. One year I wanted a nice luxurious blanket and my dad some how let Isaiah pick a kids' movie and a beanie pillow, both of which he ended up using and enjoying more than I did.

Other years I've just gone out and bought myself something. A necklace, a nice outfit. And its always been a bit 'meh' because a gift you picked and you paid for isn't much of a gift. And I've never been one of those women who didn't take care of her own needs. I have the clothes I need to work and look nice. I have the technology I want. So its not like I live this super mom image fueled life of depravity. I don't. I'm a good mom, but I don't allow being mom to be all that I am.

So this year I am basically boycotting the holiday. I'm having a low key weekend at home with my boys and my dog. We cleaned house yesterday and then I went to watch my seniors graduate. I always tear up a bit. Today one of the same seniors is getting married, she made a point to invite me to her wedding, so I'm gonna go. Tonight I am gonna go hang out with a gun guy I know.

I am not going to spend the day expecting gifts, bows, and exclamations of my wonderfulness. I know I am wonderful and strong and stubborn and kind and loyal and funny. I don't need a special day full of greeting cards and raised (unrealistic) expectations.

My own mother has been gone for ten years. My grandmother has been gone for 12. To me, this is just a day.