Earlier today I drove to parsons in a thunderstorm. I took Mike's clothes to him and he and I went to some of Tom's old friends to see if anyone knew where he was. We struck out. I think he's in Independence. He'll probably show up in a few months.
Visited with my cousin. She finally found herself a house so she isn't staying with her mom anymore. ITs a rental, so not the prettiest, but not bad either. Big fenced in yard and on a dead end street.
She's also acquired a new boyfriend. He's a bit of a goober. Lives with his grandmother, works odd jobs here and there for cash. Has custody of a four month old baby, the result of a one night stand. The mom showed up with him last month and announced she didn't want him anymore. He's a cute little guy.
The boyfriend spent the whole visit asking my cousin what she needed and making sure she was happy. He made lunch, folded laundry and ran herd on little kids.
I'm a bit jealous. I want a boyfriend. I want a guy that thinks I'm great and wants to make me happy. I just also want the hypothetic boyfriend to be employed and not living with his grandmother.
So anyway, I spent a few hours in Parsons and then came home. And now its late at night. And I should go to bed. But I can't bring myself to do it. To turn all the lights off and go to bed and try to sleep. Because with the house so empty my own loneliness comes very close to the surface. I feel it like a low level anxiety in the pit of my stomach.
I wish I knew how to fix it.
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