That's really all I have to say about how the kids where at the football game. I could go into detail, buts its depressing and makes me sound like one of those mothers who is always frazzled and seems to hate her kids.
So, instead of making a list of all the things that seem to have gone wrong or pissed me off this week, I'm gonna make an opposite list.
The list of things that make me smile:
My two little ones playing in puddles
the cool weather (thanks to gustav)
How considerate Isaiah can be (although I wish he would do so without being in trouble)
the sweet coo Noah makes when he talks and plays
Being able to get up and go to a job I LOVE everyday
My students, some of them are so bright and interested. And all of them are funny.
Ice cold coke a cola still does it for me.
Noah tired and resting his little head in my lap
gideon sharing a pizza crust with his baby brother
watch an old movie (the secret of nihm) with my kiddos
Warm laundry
a cool night and soft bedding
high speed internet
my dad telling me that I am his hero
Isaiah asking me about my mom and what she was like and being able to tell him a few things without completely sobbing (I know, she's been gone over six years, and still I can barely stand to talk about her) I told him how happy she was to have a grand baby and how she held him so much that I hardly got to. The other stuff, how she terrified us. The multiple personalities and her dissapearing into a mental hospital for months at a time, he didn't need to know. Or the years she was so sick, and I, a kid myself, bein gher medical DPOA. God that sucked.
okay, so its a skimpy list. But I'm doing my best here and sometimes I get so bogged down. and its times like that when I wish that I had a husband or partner. I know, that is totally lame. I am supposed to be this "I can do anything, better then you can" tough chick. But I miss having someone here to talk to, to bounce things off of and rant at.
But lets face it, fat single mom with no time for personal grooming beyond mere washing, seeks well payed, supportive, ect ect ect . . . not likely. And besides, there are so damn many weirdos, freaks, and monsters out there. Any time you brign someone into your house, you risk that.
I guess I'll just keep coming here to rant and gossip and complain. I still think it is a wonder that you guys read. But I do appreciate it.
3 comments:
Lovely list, you are doing such a great job. I am going away on holiday so if you don't see comments from me it's because I am away.
Ditto on what kimkim said. I know it is lonely without a partner. But as you know already....there are a lot of frogs out there. You will find someone, even if it is just a best friend.
Great list Alley...
Had to dry my eyes a little when you mentioned your oldest asking about your mom.
Both my parents are still alive & together, but I've lost close friends over the years that when I think of them & all the good times we had it puts me into a fog that sometimes takes me days to come out of.
God how much I miss them....
Keep on keeping on kid.
-Dino
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