It's My Birthday

And I am being extremely lazy. Seriously, not doing anything. Well, I did grade papers and I probably will grade some more later.

I went to church today, which was nice. went grocery shopping afterward, the kids did okay. i don't know if its me or gideon, but he just isn't like other kids his age. He is excitable with everything being either terrible or wonderful. He gets super fixated on a particular thing and if you come between him and it he goes balistic.

And then there is the clinginess. A mother should be able to take her son to church and drop him off in children's church without a huge fight with him. Anyway, he isn't like other three year olds, but I don't think he is retarded just wored up differently. And I don't know how to help him learn to behave in a more acceptable way.

I am eating chocolat cake and enjoying my home and my kids and marvaling at the fact that two years ago I was suicidal and desperate. I mean it, the only thing that kept me from it was the fact that I was pregnant and the fact that I didn't want to attempt and fail, and I couldn't get my hands on anything that I thought would do the job effectivly.

So, happy birthday to me. I am a single mom of three rowdy, sticky, dirty, crazy sons. I am busy all the time and unorganized beyond charming. I weigh too much and talk too much. I am alone most of the time, but not as lonely as you'd think.

In the next year, I think I want to get finished with this master's program. I want to get us moved into a rental house as opposed to the apartment. I know it's a big step, but the kids need a yeard of their own, and I would like a little more privacy.

I want to work on being healthier, if not slimmer. i want to get better at feeling like an adult when I stand in a room full of people. I don't know why, but I still feel like an overwhelmed sixteen year old half the time. I have very little poise and what little I do have is usually an act.

I'd like to say that I want to seriously start the whole dating thing, but to be honest, I don't think I am there yet. I don't trust people and I want to be sure that I can absolutly take care of us before I think about hooking myself up to anyone else.

I have already severly cut out pop from my diet. I am now and iced tea and coffee junky, which I am sure isn't much better, other then being cheaper.

I guess I can work on that organization thing a little more. I am getting better, but I have vast room for improvment.

That's about it, I'm gonna go get some more cake.