That last one was crap

I was a little high. I blame the pain pills. I'm less high now, but only because I let them wear off and am in hurt once again.

I think the antibiotics are making it better, which will make the pain less. Not gone, but less.

I had a bit of a tiff with J and didn't hear from him for days. Figured we were done. But then I saw on my phone that he'd called me today while I was in the other room.

I didn't call him back. I can see, now, that he was never going to allow the relationship develop into a dating one. He's not willing to be that open with me. So he'd keep me distant, go days without contact, let me think he wasn't intersted in any more, and then contact me when his options weren't better.

I'm done. Its more about how he's been acting, not about his lack of job and degrees. Its about his drinking and the way I drink when I'm around him, not his income or tiny, crap hole apartment.

Anyway, left like getting it down while I was sure about it. Not so sure what I'll do if he calls again.

Something else on my mind, I've seen the term "asshat" used all over the place in the past week. I think I invented it a couple of years ago to describe my ex. And now its all over.

Weird.

Something else.

I am loosing weight. I don't own a scale and I don't stand on one often enough to be sure where I

started, but I was sorting clothes earlier, and a dress I couldn't button across my tummy now fits

and looks AMAZING on me.

I hate my tummy though. Look up pictures of women before tummy tucks, that's me. Extra

flappy skin and yuck. I am not pro plastic surgery by any means. But I think I'd be happier with

how I looked if it were gone. I want to diet and be really good for a year and then look into getting

it done.

Am I super vane? I dunno.