I had it, now its gone

I had a whole thing I was going to blog about. It was great. I ca't remeber it now, but still have the compulsion to type SOMETHING. So I will tell you about a dream I had the other night.

In this dream, I'm a mom, like in real life, and there is something wrong with everyone. Its dark and things aren't working and I realize that the people around me are monsters. Like Zombies but with some intelligence. I don't remember all the details, but I know that I eventully ended up on the roof of some large building, like a barn or a big hay shed. And the bad monster people are all around the buillding yelling at me and the people with me to just come down and they won't hurt us. But they have these mean teeth and I know they are lying. And then someone sets the barn on fire and its burning out from under me and everyone else is gone and I am still refusing to come down.

I don't know what it means, but I dream about zombies when I am stressed and tired and overwhelmed. think about any zombie movie you've ever watched. Teh zombies are stupid and slow, but there are so many of them that they overwhelm the normal people and killthem and turn them into more zombies.

I'm tired of dreaming about zombies. It isn't fun. I know its a dream the whole time, but I can't pullmyself out of it.

Going to church later, and probably going to come home and grade some papers and plan next week's lessons.

I may have remebered

Do you ever get the feeling that you are being judged? that for some reason, the people around you are thinkin gunkind things about you? I get that on a mildly regular basis.

I don't think its all in my head. I do think that people who have a single child don't know what its like to have three by yourself to wrangle. I guess I shoudl back up a bit.

I ran into some people I went to high school with. Apparently they've been living in the same duplex area I have, there are two playgrounds and she decided that the playground by their house never has any kids on it so they would bring the little guy over to the one my kids and a few others are always on.

So, they married at some point righ tout of high school. Great fo them. He's in nursing school and she, for all her former bragging about how intelligent she was, is a stay at home, with one who looks to be almost three.

anyhow, I've seen them everywhere lately. I and the kids were at the mall right after church. The county has a satilight polling station that has been going around for early voting and I went to vote. Isaiah wanted a game controller and the game store was there. Anyhow the male of the aformentioned couple was working at the theater and sees us, says hi. Whatever

At this point we've just finished with the rigamarole of voting, the kids are a tad antsy, and getting them going in the same direstion is something akin to herding cats.

So, Noah os toddlinn by, with a sucker that one of the election helper ladies gave him, and trips. He falls forward, not into his face and the sucker in his mouth, just on his front. Pauses a minute, pushes himself up, and trotts along in the direction he was already going.

Now, I know that running with suckers isn't the best thing in the world. I know that if he HAD fallen on his face, it would have been bad, at least painful, maybe worse. But he didn't.

I guess I didn't look worried enough about it, becuase the guy I was talking to says, very sarcastically. "Good thing he didn't fall on the sucker".

I don't think I am that callouse. I do think that kids fall, They get dirty, the get bruises. Mostly they survive. Mostly, they thrive.

So I don't see why, if I have three well, fed, healthy, well dressed children, people need to treat me like a terrible person.

maybe I need to be nicer to myself.