Bottled water

So its been a nice weekend. Played outside with the kids and ended up going on a long walk with my little boys. I guess they get bored with the same old play ground too, so we ended up walking over to the vetran's memorial, which is out side and has a reflecting pool and lots of stone steps and benches and an eternal flame. To a small kid it probably seems like a castle. No one goes there, so I doubt anyone minds a couple of little boys wandering around and splashing their feet in the pool. I hope.

Isaiah's been a bit surly since I took the TV out of his room, he and the little ones are strongly lobbying for it to be put back in their room. I think I'll move it to the storage room tomorrow and lock it in. I am even cutting back on the amount of time the TV in the living room is on, and believe me that's a big deal, I'm a champion couch potato. But I want Isaiah to read more and do his homework better, so I need to create an environment where that is more plausible. TV being off is a big first step.

Been talking with dad about going to Tennesse for christmas. It wouldn't bee a long trip, but I have enough time off that I could make the trip, stay a few days, and drive back without completely exhausting myself. And I can't think of a better christmas present to give th boys then to see their "pampa".

It my birthday tomorrow. I'll be 28, which is terrifying close to 30, a big deal to someone who grew up deeply distrusting adults and people in postions of authority. Now here I am, a bonafide adult and a person with a position of authority. Ironic.

Even more amazing when you consider that I was suicidal on my 25th birhtday. I was pregnant with Noah, living in my father's living room with my other two boys. I had just been fired from my CNA job, and I didn't have a clue how I was going to handle having another baby, getting us our own house, and to top it off, Twyla and her kids were down right hostile towards me. The only thing that stopped me was that I wanted to do something that was sure NOT to fail, and I didn't think I had access to anything that would do the trick. That's it.

But things got better. I got some money at chirstmas that was just enough to pay some old bills and deposits and to get me into low income housing. The letter that an apartment was available went out the same week i gave birth to Noah. I got a job as a para working with disabled children, which lead me to pursue teaching as a career. Now I am a person with a master's degree, a teaching liscence, a job at a high school, and instead of being homeless with all my stuff fitting into the corner of my dad's living room, I have too much furniture in too small of an apartment. I've accomplished a lot. And I have every right to feel good about that.

There are some things I need to do in the near future, such as starting to save for the move that is coming either next summer or the summer after. I need to revamp my resume and portfolio and start applying for jobs instead of sitting around saying I with I made more money. I need to be better organized and less hectic all the time.

There are things I wish I had done sooner, like getting serious about making Isaiah a reader. Its so easy when they are young to say, their young let them play and be kids, but now he's a year from middle school, and not ready. I wish I were better at keeping a tidy house. I don't know how people manage to live in their homes without them getting cluttered. I can make the house look uncluttered, the counters clean and floors clear, but it only stays that way if no one is around.

SO, happy birthday to me. I'll be 28 tomorrow, I am not suicidal, I have three of the most fun kids on the planet. Its a beautiful October out there, and I don't have a whole lot to complain about right now. Life is good.