But I feel like I am out of control when my life is out of control.
I feel like I can plan and organize things all I want, and then they fall apart anyway.
I'm not feeding myself. I snack here and there and drink coke zero, but I don't think I've fed myself a meal in days. I'm too stressed out.
I found a ride, its gonna cost me fifty dollars plus gas and its with one of the most unreliable people I can think of, but its a ride.
God, I hat hate hate hate hate hate hate my life right now.
I just want to know when its my turn. See, I hear there are people who don't face constant derailment and upheaval every few months. They have nice relationships and life in comfortable houses and can plan on being able to get up, go to work and come home and have a nice evening and then occasionally go to a mall or a movie and are able to provide clothes and fun for their kids. Their cars don't break down and leave them stranded. If they do, they have a spare or a back up available. They have friends and relatives who they can count on, and these things don't happen just in time to derail everything.
I want my turn to have a life like that. Is that too much to ask?
3 comments:
$50.00 for a ride?? Have you thought about moving closer to work, so that you could ride a bike or walk to work? The people you hang with will drag you down quicker then you can help bring them up. Hang with people in your social economic level or better, your life will change. You have too many hanger ons for you and your family to move forward.
I often wonder that too.
I live about a mile from work and have been walking or biking.
But I live 75 miles from my school.
I actually got my aunt to take me and it only cost me a meal with her and my cousin and being willing to gossip with her a little.
I know, I need to let got of some of these people. But its hard also, I know that circumstances are not a product of a person's worth as much as they are a product of bad luck
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