Disconnected

I once heard a joke that isn't all that funny.

A man was stuck down in a hole. The sides of the hole are slippery and too high to climb. He can see out and as he watches a politician passes his hole.

He yells, "Hey, I'm stuck, help me out!" But the politician only shakes his head and promises that if he gets reelected he will have all the deep holes in the land filled.

The man is still stuck in the the hole. Then a preacher walks past. The man called, "Hey, I'm stuck down here, can you help me get out?" But the preacher is far too busy to bother with him, he throws down a prayer written on a peice of paper and promises to have his congregation form a committee to study how they can help people like the man.

The man is still in the hole.

Then a friend of the man's walks by. The man, feeling very sad, calls up, "I'm stuck, I've been down here for so long, can you please help me out?"

And the friend jumps down in the hole with him.

The man is shocked. "Why did you do that?! Now we are both stuck in this hole."

The friends smiles and nods and when the man is calmer says, "I know, but I've been here before, and I know the way out"

That's the joke, but there's a line they left out and its this. "If you will listen, and do as I say, I can teach you how to get yourself out of this hole."

I am the child of alcoholics. Therefore I probably have a bit more exposure to the group, AA that your average bear. Its not a place tourists are welcome. But no one cares about the little kids that get drug along.

At AA meetings, people share. They talk about what they've done to orthers, to themselves, as a result of their addiction. But they also talk with each other about what they can do to make it better. They help each other cope with the stresses of life that may have lead them to abuse the drug. And they hold each other accountable for continuing to work to change things in their lives for the better.

Without the last step, its just an excercise in narcisistic self indulgence.

I realize that being poor is not an addiction. It is not an illness or a bad habit that has wrecked your life. But it is a significant impediment in life. Poverty leads to shorter lives, lower intelligence in young children, and fewer opportunities. People in poverty experience greater amounts of stress, violence, and chronic health problems. (I'll add links if you want).

With this knowledge, and the very basic fact that it sucks to not be able to buy food, housing, and transportation all in the same month, let alone you know, fun stuff, why would it make sense not to take proactive actions to remove one's self from poverty?

I know my own way is not the only way.

But please, listen to someone who's been down in that hole and knows a way out. You have to have some sort of a plan. It has to based on things within your locus of control.

I cannot control what the lottery numbers tonight will be. I cannot control what businesses will open in any particular town or what jobs they will offer or what the needed skill set for those jobs will be. I cannot control the market value of rent or the cost of a gallon of gas. I cannot know if I will ever meet a man worthy of spending the rest of my life with, or how much income he will have to offer my little house hold.

I can control a few things. I can control what skills I have and acquire skills that are valued in the current market. I can move to a location that offers a wider array of jobs or a lower cost of living. I can choose to drive an older car or live in a smaller home to control the expenses associated with those things.

I can control my actions and reactions. I can be confident in the fact that I have always acted in ways that I saw as being best for my children. I can know that I when I push people to do better, accomplish more, I do so because I want good things for them. Weather they be my students or anonymous people online, I only want to show them a way to have a better life.

Because I may not know many things. But I do know that sitting and waiting and wishing for things to get better does not work.

I'm truly sorry if that idea isn't politically correct enough.