I haven't done much with mine other than get groceries and a little cleaning. It was a long, and yet rapid week. Maybe long isn't the right word. Maybe intense is better.
Labor is intense. While you are in the middle of it it seems like this excruciating, exhausting, all consuming inescapable thing.
My work weeks are no where near as intense as labor, but they share some similar characteristics.
i had planned on getting some work done from home today, but my shopping trip and my brother's need for sleep, and to be very honest, my lack of motivation, interfered with actual productivity. I have this talent for getting obsessive about small things that don't matter when I am overwhelmed by stuff that does.
Cleaning is good, cleaning instead of researching the two papers I have to write, emailing the class mate the information I promised her, and writing IEPs that are due, is not such a good thing. I have an amazing talent for avoidance.
Had to buy some work shoes. I've been wearing shoes that were more or less designed to be worn in a professional setting. They leave in serious foot pain by the end of the day. I spend lots of time moving from one place to another, on my feet dealing with students, very little time sitting. So why do professional shoes only last a few hours before serious discomfort sets in? And I bought the kind that are supposed to be good for you.
Well, now I have brownish running shoes that I hope I can pass off and work appropriate. Truth is, my work attire is very generic and not "me" at all. Its just a collection of button down shirts and kaki pants that seem like they wouldn't be too offensive to the sensibilities of the private school crowd. I honestly have no idea how a scifi loving, punk rock listening, marches to her own beat teacher would dress if she could dress any way she wanted. And all my pants are too big and look sloppy.
I need that show that gives you money and tells you how to dress.
Speaking of shows, not having cable has made me one of those people who has no idea what "Jersey shore" is - some one at work has viewing parties, or what's going on on "talent" - something about a little girl? They sit and talk about it at lunch and I have to ask for clarification.
I guess no one watches Fringe or Eureka or The Gates or Haven or Covert Affairs, those I catch on hulu and love. I'm such a nerd.
Feeling lonely today. I've been on a couple of mini dates that went no where. I've emailed with people who were just not right. But I feel like I'm always going to be alone. I'm too weird and too unwilling to compromise on what I want. I have too much baggage. Aside from loving my boys, and my job, what do I have?
No one. Its a lonely feeling and it scares me sometimes. Makes me feel like a mutant. All these truly flawed, warped people around me have love in their lives. I have routines.
Blah, whining. I'm going to bed so I can get up for church and get some shit done afterwards.
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