I've figured it out

I know now why that stupid long term sub at work seems "in" while I, who am an actual employee working with the kids all the time feel "out". She used to work for the district. I'm not sure in what capacity. But listening to conversations, its clear she used to be there.

For what ever reason, she's not anymore, but the "upstairs" crew likes her. This clique is made up of a bunch of old biddy types that don't like anyone. The fact they like her doesn't really say good things as far as I'm concerned.

Of course, it could be because they seem to not like me.

I have to be honest, I don't like it when people seem to have decided that they don't like me. And that's really what it feels like. They were frosty from the beginning of the year and now it feels like nothing I do is going to ever change their minds.

Aside from the whole "I'm human and I want people to like me" thing, theres the fact that these are some of the people who've worked in the building the longest. It goes without saying that they all have tenure. They are all also "respected". What they think of me counts as far as my employment goes.

I'm not saying they are trying to get me fired, but its clear they want this woman who's subbing to be in the building as much as possible. They tell her when they are going to be gone so she can snap up the job, they include her in conversations that they shut me out of.

I wonder, did she apply for the position I eventually ended up with? She didn't get it if she did. I got it. I can't really feel bad about that because, I'm sorry, she has this "I'm one of the better class" attitude that the group we serve really doesn't like, and really picks up on.

I need to let it go and just continue to do well at my job.

Tomorrow right after school I'm delivering the boys to their dad. I'm staying the night with Opal at here house and the next day is her dad's funeral. It isn't a party really, but she invited me and I think it will be good for both of us.

Tom is well on his way to pissing me off enough that I just ask him to get out. I spent $60 on jeans for him the other day, it was an early birthday present, and he's giving me shit about what I cook for dinner.

I made homemade fried rice and sweet and sour chicken for dinner. It was good too. Better than anything off a buffet. He ate. Announced that he'd starved himself all day (his tooth hurts and he's dieting) and was still hungry. So he grilled two huge steaks.

Who does that?

I cut one up and let Noah and Gideon share it for a bedtime snack. Tom looked ticked, but I don't care. Like I said, at this point I'm sick and tired of the nonsense.

I reactivated my online dating profile. And am emailing with two different guys. One's kinda far away. They both seem intelligent, interesting, and not assholes. I'm hoping that at least one will pan out into a date or two. But trying not to take it too seriously.

I've lost 30 pounds since this time last year. Yay me. Wish it would go faster and that I would be better about being healthy. One of those might have some thing to do with the other.