Desperation

Is the feeling you have when you have a job that lasts until 3:45 and a kid that needs picked up from school at 3:05. Desperation is having talked to neighbors, fellow parents, the child's teacher, the school's transportation department, and the mental health worker who works with the child the rest of the week and they all agree that that's a problem but that their schedules, sensibilities, regulations don't offer any solutions.

Desperation is feeling like having refused to listen to the statistics and assholes who say that single mothers can't achieve or accomplish anything only to find that a matter of less than 15 minutes will prevent you from being able to take care of things.

Desperation is knowing you have to beg your boss to let you off early and that you will probably cry when you talk to him. Desperation is knowing that begging to have Friday afternoons off is a black mark against you in a district where there are teachers who were fired a year ago who want to come back. And who might now be willing to be special education teachers.

Desperation is staring into space feeling like you should either hide in your room and cry or go find something to fix for dinner. But all you really feel up to is taking a nap.