When your down . . . .

Go Shopping!

Got a bit of a nickle in the mail today. So, didn't even bother to go all the way in. We went shopping. Only to walmart, but still. A person can do some serious therapy in walmart. I looked into a wii, discovered that an actual wii was not to be found. But extra controlers, grips for the controlers, covers, and games were all there, just not the actual game. I have decided that Isaiah will have to earn one anyway. I didn't realize that while they were the "cheapest" of the game consoles on the market, they still were quite expensive.

Anyhow, I bought a new camera. It is a 12 megapixil! that's huge. I've played with it a little, so far, not all that impressed. If further exploration doesn't improve, I may take it back and order the one off of amazon that I have been drooling over. Of course, the one I was drooling over is twice the price.

I also got, you know, milk, meat, food of all sorts.

My brother's girlfriend had the baby. 9 pounds 11 ounces! (big kig for those of you who are used to metric weights). Unfortunatly, she has decided to cut al ties with TOm. Who, instead of being calm and smart, has handled it all by going over to parsons to get shit-faced with a bunch of loosers who are more then willing to keep pouring and commensurate.

I don't know what's going on. She seems to care about him, but she is living with her parents who hate Tom and I think her father is putting some serious pressure on her. I think she finally caved, or at least caved for now. I am so happy that the baby is healthy and that she is too, I just hope that I get to be an aunt. I have another nephew, also Tom's. In that case, that child's mother and grandparents made it very difficult for him to be a dad, other then demanding support. There were several fathers named on the birth certificate, and in the end the child was moved out of state. Tom basically rolled over and let it happen. HE mopes about not seeing him, but wont get off his ass and claim him, fight for him. Send him letters and presents and do everythign he can to make sure that child knows he has a daddy. I am afraid that the chicken-shit will do the same with this kid. Because, even though he claims to love the mother and he wants to be a dad, he is so afraid to actually grow up and function in society.

SO, the whole thing is bitter-sweet at best. I wish I had the sort of family where everyone gets together and all the siblings have interesting spouces and the patriache figure dispenses a measure mix of wisdom and non-sense and there were little cousins all over the place and it was bright and warm and smelled like cinnamon.

Maybe I watch too much televion. All we are is a loose gathering of loosers and damaged souls. Ech of us hurt by our past and inflicting new hurts in out present. WE have kids that don't know their fathers and don't see eachother. When I was a kid, as messed up as my exstended family was, I saw my cousins. My best friend was a cousin. My brothers got into trouble with our cousins. WE were a mob two dozen strong of kids that all looked alike and sounded alike and it was wonderful. We knew all the secrets, dark and brilliant alike and we shared then with eachother and debated what this or that new event meant in the frabric of it all. New babies were an event. Who do they look like, what is their personality like.

I was alone in the hospital when my sons were born. And Lisa C. was alone when she had patrick. I wonder how welcome we would be if we just all went to see her tomarrow? WOuld it be too intrusive?

I have too many regrets for someone my age. When I get this camera figured out, I'll post some brilliant pictures.