New year's eve

So last night was new years eve. I had no fancy plans. The kids and I had a little party. We ate tacos and every one picked out their favorite kind of candy. We put the candy in a bowel and snacked and stayed up all night watching movies. The little boys crashed out on the couch by twelve. I went to bed at one and I think that Isaiah must have spent all night on the x-box.

I am sure tacos, junk food, and TV are probably not going to make me the parent of the new year, but it was nice. I do kind of wish I had a party to go to. But I have never been the party type and I suppose single mothers don't get new years eve kisses. Anyway, I need to stop it with the self pity.

Last night was very windy, we did hear some loud noises that sounded like fireworks around midnight. But I figured things were calming down when I went to bed. I guess it wasn't.

At a little before six this morning there was a loud banging and ringing door bell at the back door. I am not at all mentally smart in the morning so it took me longer than it should have to compute some one outside, must answer door, need pants.

I was afraid that the knocking was my brother,Mike, he's been spiraling downhill for a long time and the las we heard from him he said he was coming to my house. He is not welcome.

It wasn't mike. It was the police. The house I rent has a metal shed. The wind picked it up and tossed it into the neighbors yard. The neighbor called the police. I woke up a very cranky Isaiah and we moved anything valuable into the house or onto the porch. A lot of the things were just trash.

Something one of the officers said has been bothering me. I was standing there on my back porch in a shirt with my arms crossed over my chest and an old pair of pants off the floor. My hair was a mess and I didn't think to grab my glasses so I couldn't see much. And the guy asks me if my husband or boyfriend is home to talk to.

Aside from the implication that I wasn't acceptable to talk to or from the immediate feelings of inadequacy that go along with being publicly outed as being single, one over riding thought. If there were a big scary, protective male in the home, why would little ole five foot two me be the one to answer the door?

Here goes the lonely sad depressed spiral. One of my resolutions is to not indulge that line of thinking. It does me no good. The landlord is taking apart and removing the shed. I doubt I will get a discount on the rent.