Bleh

Today was better. The weather was warmer the past two days and that seems to make my hands and feet less painful. Less pain apparently means that I can cope with stress much better. (Sounds logical, but when you are living it, it isn't as easy to connect).

I like my job. I want to keep my job. I'm going to start making a conscouse effort to be positive towards my job and the people I come into contact with in it.

I think part of the problem is that the rheumatoligy appointment is getting closer and closer and I am afriad that either I will be told that in all likely-hood I have a disease that will cripple my body and the treatment will cripple my finances. Or I will be told that all this is in my head. that I am crazy and imagining things. I don't know which would be worse.

The boys are well, except Isaiah is acting like he may be coming down with something. He's complained about a headache for a couple of days and he has been unsually quiet, face has been flushed, but he doesn't complain. I went to a conference with his teachers today. They had nothign but good to say about him. He's matured in how he ralates to other kids, how he handles distractions in his classroom. His reading and math skills are improved, he is still behind the grade level, but has made amazing progress. He has good friends. I'm so proud of that kid. If I don't manage anything else but getting him to adult-hood with the same gentl spirit and honorable soul he has now, then I will have successeded as his mother.

My brother Tom is freaking out. He has a seven year old son that was taken away by the grandmother. She cut off all contact. Then last year she died. Tom has been trying on and off to find out where his son is and what is going on with him for a while. He'd get serious about it and then flake again and let the issue drop. His long time girlfriend who is three weeks from her due date, had stated long ago that she didn't want to be a step mom to some other kid. He stayed with her and now she is goign to have his baby.

He got a letter from michigan social services. Apparently the grandda involved doesn't want anything more to do with the kid and has made arrangements to turn himover to faster care. Tom has two weeks to show up and claim his son or loose him forever. Needless to say, he is freaking out.

He called me. I didn't know what to do. But I told him he needed to get off his ass and find a job that pays actual money. He needs to find an apartment with at least one bedroom. He needs to contact the social servies here and see if they can help with transitioning the kid to living back with his dad. He needs to set up babysitters and enroll the kid in school. He needs to be willing to get up and take him to school and go get him when school is out.

Inother words, he has a shit load of stuff he has to get responsible about in a very short amount of time. He's been enjoying an extended childhood and it is about to end.

I'm praying for him and for kyle and for lisac and the new baby. I hope this doesn't blow up in our faces. I don't know if I am strong enough to watch it.