anyway, its too cold to even think about taking the boys out, seriously, it doesn't get this cold here very often. So they kids were anty all day. They are stir crazy and a little cranky. I am too, all I feel like doing is either goign for a walk, (but not in this cold, I don't have gear appropriat for it) or writing. I'm thinking about making a blog where I can just post fiction, expect I never finish anything. I probably have over a hundred stories I"ve started. Some a a page long, some are 30, but none of them are complete. I think that must say something about me. Something along the lines of failure to commit to anything, to take any risk. I dunno.
I sent dad and his new family christmas presents today. I finally ended up sending a big bag of candy and some neat looking decorative airfresheners. Little sticks you put in a bottle of sented oil. i hate having to pick presents for other people. especially people I miss, and who like to guilt me about not moving across country to live near them. It sucks, the whole thing sucks. He should have been a good dad for me and my brothers and it just sucks to have to order presents and have them shipped to his address because I wont get a chance to see him unitl summer at the earliest.
Some days I want a do over, of everything from about the age of three on until now. How shitty is that?
2 comments:
You sound kinda depressed and a good walk with the kids would have done you good. Trust me it isn't too cold for kids to go out. I played outside in northern Canada at -40, just layer the kids and have toques scarves and mittens, couple pairs of socks on them, and they are good to go. Now you on the other hand need to get outdoor winter clothing, and get out there with the kids. Make everyone feel a whole lot better even it's only for 1/2 an hour. One of my best memories is of taking four kids sledding. I packed a big picnic lunch with a BIG thermos of hot chocolate and went to big hill for sledding and kicked the kids out of the car with plastic sheet sleds. It was a blast watching them and helping them. No sled? Use flatten cardboard boxes. You can go down with the younger ones. Even once will be a thrill for all of you. Get out there woman!
hmm, might have a point. Sledding would be fun, but this is kansas, no hills that aren't a result of either road construction or lake building.
But maybe we will venture out later. There is supposed to be a break in the weather. Before another storm comes in.
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