Crappy Weekend

It just has been a crap weekend.

I had to spend Friday at a game watching my students loose badly at baseball. It was a bright, sunny afternoon. And I've been on an antibiotic that makes the skin extra photosensitive. I ended up with a miserable burn on half my face. Its not so uneven now, but still there if you look. I hate feeling like I look funny, even if no one else notices.

Saturday I over slept (well, slept in because it was a weekend and there is no such thing as over sleeping on the weekend), so when I got up I just grabbed my medicine and took it in a handful. Exactly like I shouldn't have. See, when it says take with a full meal, its because if you take it with a coke zero and a couple bites of strawberry it will make you vomit. At the time, did not know I was having a reaction to medication, just thought I was deathly sick, again. Tom was nice and offered to go over to the old place and do the cleaning that needed done. I was very appreciative of it.

So much so, that later that day I let them barrow my car to run to another town. Don't worry, nothing bad happened to it, it was just a big deal for me to let them take it.

So today I am supposed to meet with J, the guy who manages the apartments to check out. The meeting is at ten. I decide to go over a little early and make sure nothing needs touched up.

Good thing, I don't think those guys touched a thing. It was a mess, the same mess was there that had been there last week the last time I had a chance to be working over there. I got to work, cleaned out the fridge and freezer (yuck!) and started on counters, walls and floors. Of course I didn't have it close to done when J came over.

I explained what the deal was, that I had been sick and my brothers had said they'd do it. And we had different ideas of what needed done. He was nice and said he'd give me until seven tonight to get it into shape. Or pay the hundred plus dollars it would take for them to clean it up.

I took option A, then I called my brothers. And for once, they did what they said they'd do. It helped that I bought them breakfast and had let them use my car. We got the floors really cleaned, stove and washer and dryer moved out and cleaned under. Its done now, but I hadn't planned on cleaning the old place all day.

So, what made the day crappy? A text message I got. I guess we've all gotten calls, letters, or texts that follow the same basic line. "You are so nice, but A, B or/and C just mean it wouldn't work so lets not even try to start".

Thing is, I was really beginning to think I liked this person. This was a person who I felt like I could tell things to and just connect with on an intellectual level. But he lives several states away and I guess that became a problem.

And really, a person has a right to stop things when they see an issue they don't think they can overcome. Still sucks. Still hurts.

I hate the dating thing. Some people view dating as a way to meet someone who will be available for sex and don't much worry about other areas of compatibility. I don't see dating that way. I'd rather know someone I can have a conversation with and share interests with than have someone who's great in bed, always available, and can't string two sentences together.

I feel like I am so weird and unusual that the chances of me meeting anyone around here who gets me is slim. I've met people who I like, who are attractive and attracted, and a few who are into the sorts of things I am and get the whole brainy, single mom thing. But have yet to meet anyone who falls into both categories.

But, done is done. Not interested is not interested. I felt light and airy and special for a while, and now I don't. Life goes on, right? Other fish and all that? Right?

Someone tell me yes, cause right now I feel like the whole world is conspiring to tell me that I will be alone and lonely forever.