I'm a weird parent

I am. I let my kids make choices for themselves to a certain point. Take Gideon, he dresses himself most days. I DO hand him a pile of clothes to choose from to expedite things in the morning. But sometimes he ends up with his pants or shirt on backwards or with a bright green shirt and blue pants on. I don't worry a whole lot about whether or not he's perfectly coordinated, as long as he is weather apropriate and the clothes fit, I'm ok with it.

I am not normal. I can tell this when I look at a room full of kids his age. They all match perfectly. A friend of mine won't let her 10 and 12 year olds leave the home without checking that their outfits match and have no stains. Those kids also get their hair cuts at a salon. (I cut the kids hair)

I also tend to not stress out about meal times. I make a meal. I serve it. The rule is to sit and eat at the table or go hungry. I sit and eat with them. But if One of the boys refuses to eat what I've made and leaves the table, I don't stress out about it. They know where to come for food. I have food available for them to eat and a little kid isn't going to starve to death. This seems to contrast with most people's ideas of everyone sits at the table and stays until dismissed. I do sometimes wonder if I am setting them up for bad manners.

I also do crazy things like declare a candy free holiday. Which I am forced to admit was made easier because their dad and his parents didn't contact them at all about the holiday. That bunch tends to show affection by purchasing low quality candy and cheap tacky toys. I never grew up with lots of candy soda and junk in the house. Yet I managed to become an over weight child. But somehow I am convinced that I was still healthier than if I had been eating those things. Does it make me mean to not want it in the house. I do allow them to eat all the fruit they want, we always have bananas, apples, oranges, and right now strawberries in the house.

Other things I don't do for my kids: I don't sign Isaiah's planner that he read unless he actually read. I don't clean his room for him. I remind him that if he doesn't bring me his dirty clothes I can't wash them, but I don't go get them out of there for him. I DO tell him if he's chosen a weird shirt of a torn up pair of jeans, but if he wants to wear it I let him.

I also don't use my kids accomplishments and differences to promote myself. Gideon is developmentally delayed, but I don't stand on street corners and harp about it. Isaiah has some issues but I don't use them to try to get a whole lot of special treatment. Noah is cute enough that people stop me to tell me how cute he is, but I haven't had a portfolio made and am not hauling him off to auditions and casting calls.

I have things I want for my kids and to do with my kids, but my house is not strew end to end with kid toys, kidz bop and disney tunes do not blast in a loop from my stereo and kid shows are limited to a set time and a choice few shows. (because most of them are horrid anyway)

So, weird, but bad? I don't think so.

I want my kids to grow up with a sense of responsibility for their own choices, with self confidence and a sense of self reliance. I want them to be well read, traveled and well rounded too. But I can't take them on round the world travels and I can't force a kid who's learning disability is reading to take up the classics.

But I can give them choices in their daily lives that have real consequences. (wear a stained up shirt, hear about it from the friends, don't wear it again. Refuse to eat, get hungry, have to come eat later, maybe just eat when its offered, don't do the reading, don't get the credit, don't have the fun)

I can love them for who they are and not for the notoriety or accolades they bring my way. I hope that's the right thing to do.