Well, he outta be.
What else is going on? Not much and lots at the same time. You know how it goes. Things in life bugging me that aren't worth mentioning. I got another job interview, which is a good thing. I have a meeting with my advisor next week, which is a scary thing. If I can't get a teaching or special ed teaching job, I'm either going to have to drop out of the sped program or I am going to have to quit my job and be just a student next year. Lotta ifs. I don't like ifs. I like certainties. I like plans. I like predictability and knowing what will happen and how things will turn out. I guess that's why some people think I am a control freak.
And people. People constantly bug me. Because as much as I am bugged and annoyed by people, I like them too. Especially certain ones. So sometimes I get used to certain people, being able to talk to them pretty much whenever I want. And then I get to the place where I look forward to that, you know.
And then its gone all of a sudden.
And I'm left without a stinking clue what happened. Other than the fact that I have a tendency to blame myself for things that are basically someone else's problems. So, I have this knowledge in my head that what ever it isn't has very little to do with me, and then I have this other certainty that occurs between my stomach my chest that says "you screwed up again girly".
And then, then things just start going around and around and around and around. And eventually, they start to get louder as they go around in my brain, and I remember why the damn doc thinks I should be on pills. But I don't like the pills, so I take walks and eat chocolate and pet the dog or cat and try really hard to pretend all is well, until it becomes normal again.
No comments:
Post a Comment