Sometimes the world around me is so full of words it seems loud.
I've been reading more blogs here lately. Sometimes I am amazed at the talented people out there, and that they bother to read this. Which is basically me whining all the time.
I went to another interview today. I am more qualified for this job than the one I interview for the other day. But I don't know if I'll be offered it or if I will take it if I am offered it. The district is very small. Legislation attempting to consolidate it has been introduced and defeated twice. How much longer it can resist that, I don't know.
I suppose I'd take it if offered. Anything would be an improvement over what I am at now. Which is working my ass off for a school that doesn't pay me what I need to live on and treats its teachers like absolute garbage. I've ranted enough about this I need to stop now.
Anyway, went through a terrible thunder storm on the way there. Had to pull off the road and wait out the storm. Its a good thing I left myself lots of extra time. I made it to the interview with about ten minutes to spare.
Got out of the interview and was in Iola in search of Gas (a challenge since the above storm had knocked out power) when I get a call from Gideon's doctor. A few weeks ago his preschool suggested I take him to Kansas City to be evaluated. His behavior and development just don't match what you see in other kids his age and I feel like I need some answers as to what and why and what to expect in his future.
Anyway, a snafu with the medicaide we have to rely on for health coverage prevented the appointment from being made. That was fixed, only to be told the clinic we were directed to doesn't see kids under six. BUT a guy at PSU here in town has some expertise in the matter. And I was able to call and talk to him TODAY. A few release forms and he can talk to the people from the school system who have been working with Gideon. I think we may be close to an answer or explanation. (I'm thinking possible Asperger's)
So, get home. Get to change from the suit (I looked good but felt like a kid playing dressup in that thing) and then on to an IEP meeting, for Gideon. (I know, arranging diagnosis and IEP in the same day seems weird) THe meeting had been set up for weeks. They have identified him as developmentally delayed. He learns, his IQ is in the low normal range, he is able to perform physical things like walking, running, hopping and dressing him self. He is behind in speech skills and significantly behind in things like counting and naming shapes and what we in the education biz call "pre-academics".
And thinking about the plan we put in place, the transportation I managed to wrangle for him and all the resources he will get here. I think again about moving. And the resources here that aren't other places. And I waffle and worry and wish wish wish that I wasn't a poor single, but still his mother.
But I am single. I am a mother of three. I am busier than anyone would want to date. I am smarter and nerdier than most guys will put up with. I am probably never, ever going to meet someone who wants to buy into all this.
Somedays I just get so tired of this struggle. Maybe I should move to TN and work at walmart with my dad. Maybe I should give up ever getting out of McAuley and accept the fact that I am trapped in the situation.
Maybe I think too much.
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