All Blocked up

Seriously, after a couple of weeks of really good posting, I'm mentally constipated. Its awful, not unlike actual constipation, which is also terrible. THAT problem I don't have.

Work's been a little stressful this week. Kids are on edge because its the end of the grading quater and they know the piper's going to need to be paid: In other words, they gonna be in trouble.

Had a neat kid sign out of school today. He's going to the alternative high school. I don't think its a good choice in the long run. That being said, he proceded to stick a bent pipe cleaner in an outlet during a test. It sparked and shorted out several small things plugged on that cicuit (like the electric pencil sharpener), luckily he did't get hurt and there wasn't anything conductive enough around to zap any other kids. Got his ass walked to the office though.

I got to run a classroom myself today. I've missed it. The normal teacher for that class had meetings today so she left me a list of things to take the kids through. It felt good.

That being said, I feel like my ego may be getting in my way. If you were to watch me in a classroom, I look like a para. I am not a para, my education, responsibilities and actual "powers" are far beyond that of a para's. But some of the students like to treat me (and I am assuming actual para's) with a level of contempt only available to teenagers with reguards to adults. In other words, the phrase "not a legitimate substitute" was tossed in my general direction today and it IRKED THE HELL OUTTA ME. But again, I'm the one making 40K a year, they;re the kids.

I could go on, but the ultimate truth is that I sometime catch myself thinking of this job at a temporary experience that will serve me in the future. I am not sure if this thought is because I feel that I can do more, better and be more satisfied elseware, or if I've made such a habit of moving on every couple of years or less that its a habit to plan to move on.

If it is a habit that is driving me to want to move, to look outward for more, will I even feel settled, like I am at home? Or will there always be this feeling that if I worked here, lived here, was close to that, that I will be so much happier, more satisfied, more effective?

Am I making any sense? Or in the mental block preventing me from being clear.