Ruined

Halloween tends to be among my favorite holidays. I like that is pure fun, not obligatory gifts or visits to family you really don't care for all that much. I also like this time of year, the way the wind blows makes me restless and walking around outside in the dark, wearing masks and costumes just adds to the delicious mystery of it all.

This halloween is turning out to be less fun than in the past. Mostly because its supposed to be Isaiah's last year, he's 12 and that was my cut off when I was a kid so its his cutoff too. Problems however.

First, he wanted a hugely complex costume that would have cost to the tune of $100, but he didn't bother to earn or save any money to buy it. So he's been mad that he had the same budget that I spent on his brothers.

Then there's the grounding he had all week. He wasn't happy about it, but he accepted it and was pretty cooperative with it. So today I let him off. Told him that he could go play with his buddy across the street. Well, buddy across the street wasn't home. So Isaiah asked if he could go on a bike ride. I said yes.

He was gone for eight hours. He didn't answer his phone the whole time. I drove around looking for him or the bike. Nothing. It was starting to get dark and Tom had called the police to report him unaccounted for, when he showed up.

With no concrete explaination for where he'd been or what he'd been doing or who he'd been with. some of what he told me was a bald faced lie, we drove past the school he claimed to have been playing soccor and baseball at. The home where he claimed to be playing with a boy named Zack actually is the home of a girl named Haily.

Needless to say, he is in so much trouble. I still don't think he's told me the truth. I stripped his room. No more TV, no more game system. He has a bed, bedding, and a simple table to do homework at.

Needless to say, he wont be getting it all back in a week.

And I am left wondering . . . . what the hell went wrong? Where did my sweet boy who liked to read Diary of the Wimpy Kid and -Ology books go? Could I have done something differently?

This path he's started down is the same one my little brother Mike started down at the same age. Filching small change, lying about where a bouts and identities of friends, Mike was also using cigarettes, alcohol and pot at the same time.

I don't want my sons to suffer the same pain and strife and failure that my brothers and to a certain extent, I, have suffered. I thought all that I was doing was going to do that. Now I wonder . . . .