Sunday Shmunday

Preacher was back in church today. Was looking good (not good but you know, not sick).

We had dinner with the preacher and his wife and a few others afterward, to celebrate the brithdays' of gideon and Noah, it had been planned a few weeks ago, but with sickness and such it had been popstponed. The kids did okay. they got hypoallergenic bubble bath and a pack of collodial oatmeal. They also got a few new outfits. Gideon got a remote control car and a picture book, and noah got a blow up penguin toy and a soft car.

Anyway, it was nuce enough. Lisa is still a little weird. I guess its just going to be that way for a while, or longer. I don't know how to fix what happened, I guess it will just need time.

It does hurt that she is willing to go to walmart with the other lisa (lisa m) on a sunday, but not willing to ever ever ever take me on a weekend day. (Its far too busy on sunday, too many people). I guess its just another thing that I have to get used to. One mor epeice of evidence that I don't count for quite as much as some others do. A nd why should I be surprised. The two lisas were friends long before I moved to this little town. They are only nice to me because I am in the church and because they can't justify leaving a single mom without any resources, I guess friendship based on one persons need isn't much of a friendship.

I guess preacher knows this place to go to get minivans, former rental that are fairly cheap. I asked him about it, told him what I had to spend. He says the number is at the church somewhere. We'll see if anything comes of it. People just seem weird. maybe it is my own anxiety being projected onto them.

I looked online, there are lots of cars available in my price range. Most of them are down in Tulsa though, Dad says not to buy from a dealership over the state line, to buy from a private party. Taxes or something.

I have decided to set my heart on a minivan because of the room. I have three little kids, in a car they'd all be in torment range across a back seat. Plus, there is talk of requiring carseats for kids Isaiah's age as well (now he is over the AGE limit, but not the WEight limit), I doubt that three carseats will fit across the backseat of the average used economy car. Might as well buy what I want if I'm looking at a largish, gass guzzling vehicle anyway.

Urg. Work and school tomarrow. WE will see how it goes, as ambitious as I am, I wish I coud just stay home. I like being at home. I feel safe and comfortable, people tend to intimidate me, which makes we come off as weird and twitchy. Sometimes I feel like I can see auras around some people. Not glowy colors, but like there are certain people who are always under a shadow. I don't know what it means, probably my own imagination.