Well, I don't know if I subconsciencly was looking for excitement and found it, or if God has a massive sense of humor and is punishing me for hubris, or if these things run in cycles and I just left a calm cycle for a tulmultuos one.
whaat I do know is that things have gone from ordered, routine, and calm to disordered and angsty in a rather short period of time. It started with me hanging out with cheryl. I know that I can't keep staying out with her, even if it is only once a week, but its a kind of adult fun that i missed out on, having kids when I was too young to go do those things. And its nice to get dressed up and do up my hair and makeup and then go out and flirt and tease and just not worry about money or school supplies or what I'm gonna get Isaiah for his birthday or grades or lesson plans. To just sit and listen to live local performers (we go to open mic night and most of the time the people who come out are VERY talented) and chat with friends is just nice.
I also know that my idiot brothers have made things hard. Mike is such a raging alcoholic. He got kicked out, so tom was kicked out and they both landed on my door step. I can't have people staying here, but they are homeless, so what am I supposed to do? Let them rot on the street, there are homeless shelters around, but they are all filled to capacity. I let them in. We don't get along. Tom and Mike are both convinced that I am a control freak of pathological proportions. I think that Tom is sloppy and a pompous ass that likes to talk about things he knows nothing about. I think Mike is an alcoholic who is unpredictable, and a manipulator of emotions as a way of controling the behavior of those around him.
Anyway, Mike works very early in the morning, so he likes to go to bed early. But he finds time to complain about how "hot" it is in the house, how loud the home is (with my kids plus two extra people?) and about the cleanliness of the place (he's a bit OCD about housekeeping, but as a guest in my home, its hardly my problem). He managed to wake up the whole house at a quarter to three monday, tuesday and wednesday. He broke my house rules by bringing beer home two days in a row and refusing to either get rid of it, drink it somewhere else, or put it up. He became insulting and threatening when I insisted he follow my rules. So, I called the police. And he left and isn't allowed back on the campus.
Tom, at least, is smart enough to keep his thoughts to himself. But he thinks I'm a bitch who is controling and mean to people.
The thing is, that they are stuck in this pathology of addiction and codependence and enabling. Mike picks fights on purpose, so he can get someone to yell at him, so he has an excuse for drinkng and for they mean way he treats people. Tom works his way into other people's lives (unfortunately my livingroom at the moment) and tries to be so nice and helpful that they just declare him part of the home without him having to pay rent or get and take care of his own place. He has the rest of this week and next week to get out, I don't know if he will have enough money or not, but thats all I can manage.
So, yesterday, After the nonsense with mike, I has planned on an outing with Cheryl. She and I talk a lot and so she knew what was going on, as it was happening. She urged me to come on out and said she would pay for my drinks. I took her up on it.
And ended up as drunk as I have ever ever ever been. I know, ironic considering why I asked mike to leave. And my phone ended up taking a bath. Which sucks because it is completely dead. Can't get it to turn on, Can't get my contacts off of it. And am stuck using this super cheap burner phone. My phone was a blackberry curve.
And here I am. I'm stuck with Tom. Mike is out on the streets or staying with someone too far away from where he works to keep his job. And that will be my fault. I need to make lesson plans for next month, and with all this on my mind, all I can think about is this very nice guy who I usually see at open mic (nice body, okay face, wonderful voice when he sings) and how he will be at a benefit thing tomorrow. What the hell is wrong with me?
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