What to do

Okay, so going out to open mic night with Cheryl has become a habit that I enjoy. Suprise suprise. It isn't the "bar - ness" of the place, its the crowd is interesting and fun to be around. It isn't the booze, its the relaxed atmosphere. And the variety of live music is very nice too.

Dressing up and meeting interesting people is fun too. Last night I met a guy who is actually a career Ex-patriot who lives and works in South Korea, teaching conversational English. He is home visiting and was out to see what the night life offered. Fascinating to talk to, but he was kinda flaky. And a bit negative about everything associated with this country, somehow the war on drugs ruined everything.

Actually, I am surprized at the number of people who are so up front about hating this country and wishing they lived somewhere, anywhere else. Am I silly to think we, here is the USA, live in a great country? Am I pessimistic to think that just because things are changing, doesn't mean that they are fundamentally worsening? Anyway, food for thought, topic for later exploration, and I digress.

I met up with another male type person last night who I'd met before. Actually don't know what to think about this one. He is very sweet, and very recently heartbroken and definitely seems gunshy. But there is just something about him, don't want to write off anything, seems like one of those people you meet and know they'd be nice to have in your life, as a friend, or more or whatever. I'm not being clear here.

So here's what happened. I've seen him a few times on Wednesday open mic nights, but he wasn't there last night when we got there. I texted him just to see if he was coming out, and he said he was at home. So, didn't worry one way or the other, had Sam from korea to entertain me while Cheryl flirted with Jake the very pretty barkeep. And then, after eleven, who shows up but Mr. Sweetie. He hangs out with us, we all go to waffle house afterward. He invited us to his house, and we went even though is was almost two thirty by then. Nothing scandelous happened. He lives with his kids most of the time, but they are with their mom now. he has a couple of WAT TOO CUTE puppies. Listend to music, hung out, talked. Got tired and went home to crash at Cheryl's for a couple of hours before driving home this morning.

Am I screwing things up? Is this all TOO MUCH of a social life now, after years of none at all? Are my instincts about people so completely screwed up that I should just stop all this now? I like this guy, who seems nice and sane and was talking about organizing a cook out in a few weeks, in other words, this could be nothing or something, or something in between of the two. And I am not sure if I am ready for any of that. It isn't too late to stop all this. To stop getting dressed up to go out. To stop calling and texting and waiting to be called and waiting to be texted. To go back to living a life that revolves around the Television schedual and my work life.

I've come a long way in three years, from homeless and hopeless and unemployed to Being a successful single mom with an advanced degree, a respectable apartment to live in, a job that is respected (even if it doesn't pay well) and the feeling that maybe its time to let someone in again.

But I am not sure I can trust myself.