A theory

So my friend cheryl goes back and forth and forth and back with her ex-husbande who she is now "dating". As in they live apart, they get together a few nights a week and maintain separate social and home lives for the most part. while "dating" him, she messes around and flirts with various others. These others she text messages constantly, and insists that they text back immediately, she goes out with, drinks with them, and tells them that they are completely disposable.

She has a great time with these guys who she refers to as disposable, but every time she goes out with her ex he makes her cry and drags her somewhere she is miserable and can't leave and they end up fighting. He says something mean, she gets passive agressive and demands an apology, he asks her to come back in to the place or event, but refuses to apologise. It goes on all evening. I ask her why she stays with him, and puts up with that. She says they are great with the kids, at events (the kids are a pair of well schedualed pedigreed types) they are the perfect family. She says it would be hard to be at all those events and be a family unit but not to be a couple. I think lots of divorced couples handle that just fine. I don't understand why she puts herself through this.

But then again, I'm alone and she isn't. But is not being alone worth living tha dual life? Worth letting someone make me miserable because of massive incapatability? I don't know.

What I do know is that being alone doesn't make me less of a person or a less complete person, but it does make me lonely. And I would rather not be lonely. But I'm not sure I can give up that much control in my life either. Let alone find the time to really pursue dating and finding someone to be around. The little bit of looking I've done has lead to loosers of various flavors. It doesn't help that Cheryl, who I go out with when I go out, will flirt with people I think are just plain creepy, and has slept with half the men in the room.