Long post, short post

So, I read a few blogs. Not a lot, but a few. I don't reference any of them very often because they are such better writters than I am. They use spell check and everything. Most are actual articles or thoughtful little snippets, versus my stream of self indulgent conscieness crap that will start with one topic and veer off into three unrelated directions before ending with me whining about something that is ultimately unimportant.

Some bloggers I read make these short little posts that create huge discussions and controveries. Others I read write long posts like I do, but they are more coherant than my writting is.

So yesterday I read a blog post by a guy who was talking about dating and internet dating, something I am interested in. So, his point was that sometimes he will see a picture or meet and chat up a girl and things will be going ok, and then he will meet her cuter friend and decide that he feels no chemistry for the first girl.

It hit a nerve with me. A lot of people too from the comments. But with me I think its that I am NEVER the cuter friend. I am the shorter friend. I am the heavier friend (call it curvy, chunky, voluptous, what ever- it isn't the amrican ideal of beauty that's for sure). I am the quieter friend. I am the friend that isn't as flirty and isn't as good at that rapid fire reparte that is three parts conversation, inuindo and cleavage flashing. What I am is reasonably cute, intelligent, thoughtful and to be honest, picky about how I want to be spoken to and the person or people I let get close to me. But it still stings to think that simple visuals would cause me to be completely over looked, especially when I stand next to my cuter, more out going friend.

But I guees that is the nature of the game. And I guess that if I don't want to be a bitter shut in than I need to be willing to play by the rules and at least know that the person who I think is interesting or attrictive but who looks right past me, isn't the person I want anyway.

Which brings me to the second part of my post, this time they are related. I do a bit of, not dating, but internet flirting. I have tried paid sites, but have had the best luck with a free site called plenty of fish. Yes, there are assholes there looking for a hookup, and yes to become a "featured serious user" and get a gold dot on your profile, you can pay, but for the most part, its free and easy to use.

If chatted up a few people there, usually get at least three new emails a week. Met on in person, that didn't go anywhere, but it was all fun and stress free. And I am learning that you can tell a lot about people just by how they "behave" online. For instance, I do not post "sexy" pictures. i post pictures of my face and upper body and I have on on there that was taken during a hike. In other words, just me being me. So, when someone starts out "hey sexy" it kind of sets off alarm bells. While all women want to be thought of as sexy or attractive, I think its kind of rude to address someone you barely know as such. I also wrote out a long, thoughtful profile that described my own prefences, what i like and what I want, and clearly states that I am looking for in a relationship.

You can tell what the person who is contacting you is like from a profile or from communications too. People who can't be bothered with capitalizing and using basic punctuation usally turn out to be not what I am looking for - namely intelligent and well educated. People who write a two sentence profile are looking for a hookup, no matter what they say.

I am picky about how young the guy is and am not willing to even reply to an email from someoene who is under 25 (I'm 27).

So, what's my point, one is that I have a tentative date with someone who seems to fit the bill, smart, interesting, literate and has more to him then "I like to hunt n fish and be rowdy n drink beer with my buddies". He is a older then me, by 15 years, which makes me pause, but I am trying to be openminded and at least meeting the man wont hurt anything.

The second point, is what if I, in my own way, am just as superficial as the guy who wants to date the cuter girl in the picture, but my filter is a little different. So, how do I feel about that? Oddly, still a little pissed that I am at a disadvantage and a little unapologetic, no definitely, about my own standards.

I guess dating makes hypocrits of us all.