The kids had a good time. There were no wardrobe malfunctions, but I was concerned about a few of the gowns. They were absolutely elegant, if the girls didn't move. I DID see more cleavage on my students then I really wanted to.
The prom was held at this old Masonic Temple, it dates back to 1915, full of ornate wood carvings and antique furniture. They have held the prom there for almost twenty years with no problems. As we were cleaning up last nigt, we found three broken pieces of furniture and a huge gouge in a 200 year old table.
I will be surprised if I don't hear about this monday.
Mike kept the kids. It was almost one am when I got them. Aside from being cranky, they don't seem to have suffered. I guess they don't need me after all.
Bought tires today. IT was a long expensive ordeal. But I have tires with actual tread on them. And the car seems to ride better.
I was thinking about my kids tonight. Between the stress of work, and the rain keeping us cooped up, and the whole job-hunt, what will I do this summer thing, I've been a stressed out monster.
I mean it. I can't stand me most of the time. The kids, being kids, don't always help. They don't know how to calm down and create the calm and tranquil environment I crave, and they shouldn't have to.
Anyway, I've been stressed and frustrated of late. I do my best not to take it out on others, but I think it happens. I was watching a movie, vegging out actually, and realized I was watching something that seemed to be about divorse, loss, infertility and adoption with a touch of supporting single parenthood and dating thrown in. It was a complicated movie.
But I am so glad I have my boys, all of them. The oldest who loves to tell people his mom had him when she was seventeen( he tells people we just met this), the middle one who has probably got a very extreme case of attention deficiet hyper activity disorder or something that makes him all buy guatenteed to be difficult and noncomplient, and the baby who is sweetness incarnate, mellowness walking.
A little less then three years ago the pastor at the church I and the only people who were helping me went to was trying to convince me, from the pulpit, to give Noah up for adoption. Pretend he never happened. I don't know if people who advocate that sort of thing really know what they are saying. What a profound affect that would have on the remaining siblings, the mother, the child that was abandoned while others weren't. I'm glad that is one bit of advice I didn't take.
Of course, when I was sixteen and terrified and pregnant with Isaiah, my mother's brother and his wife offered to adopt and raise Isaiah in an open adoption type arrangement. I'm glad that is something I didn't do also. A few years later the couple divorced with my uncle announcing he was gay. A prolonged and unpleasant child support/ alimony case followed. Their oldest is a high school graduate now. She did have a baby a few months ago that was given up. Their younger child has cerebral palsy and requires around the clock care.
I don't know what my point here is, other then that there are many people who look at my life, the choices I've made, the way I life. And they feel sorry for me. They think I must be heart broken and miserable. Maybe they are right, but this is how life has been for so long, that its normal for me.
truth is that I like the chaos and the excitement of the kids. I like herding them through a room or a store. They are each and every one walking love and affection and beauty and wonder. They enrich every thing around them.
So, my life is not like a movie. I probably wont meet some wonderfully handsome guy who gets me completely and loves my kids as much as I do. I probably will never be that woman who walks into a room in a perfectly put together outfit and three angelic children in tow.
I, like bridget jones, will always be fat. I will probably always be flustered and distracted when my kids are around (Its a side effect of constantly having to watch the Gidster). I will probably always be a bit frumpy or just plain she-nerdy in my clothing.
But I think that is so much better then the alternative. A life without the wonderful little guys challenging me to be better each and every day. Their fathers made that choice, and it hasn't done well for them.
Anyway, its twenty after eleven, late for me. We have church tomorrow, trying it again. A playdate has tentatively been set up for afterward, but if this rain stuff sticks around, it wont happen. Gideon is still talking to his cars in his bed.
I still have letters I need to send, papers to grade and to write, lesson plans to make, job opportunities to hunt down, money to save, the list goes on.
But how borring would things be if I didn't have all this stuff? What fun would that be?
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