Tuesday

So, went to class. Its always an interesting situation to be in a room full of teachers. I recommend the experience to anyone. He gave us some group presentations to put together, somehow I am in a group with three other women, another science teacher and two math teachers. I keep having these ridiculous flashes to the dire warnings we hear about the lack of math and science teachers. I know where they hang out.  We get along really well. Its a fun evening to be honest. 

Gideon's honeymoon period with the discovery center is over. I got a note today that he had thrown a fit to the extent that he was slamming shoes around, trying to hit the staff, refusing to listen to what he was told, and had to be held in a protective hold to keep him from hitting and hurting others. Its a lot to see, written on a page. He's that kid. That kid that throws enormous fits that can't be quieted with the same gentle words that other kids respond to. He gets that way at home too. So upset and unhappy that all he can bear to do is scream at the top of his lungs and thrash and throw himself around. 

He sometimes gets so out of control that he will slam himself into walls, throw himself at the couch, miss and hit the floor, be getting into bed and land on the headboard. I worry about him hurting himself. I worry about hurting him when he gets like that because then I have to manhandle him into his room and onto his bed. I worry that he likes to get mad and swing his fists at Noah. What ever it is that causes Gideon to be this way, Noah doesn't have it, but he can learn the behaviors. 

Makes me afraid to move and uproot the kids. But I'm even more afraid of being stuck in a position that pays so little, associated with a school whose reputation is going downhill and who administration is too busy glory hunting, playing favorites, and pandering to the wealthy parents that give money.  I'm complaining about work again. 

Sent the rest of the application off to salina today. That makes, five positions in Wichita, two in Dodge City, One in El Dorado, one in Salina. I have application fatigue. But I think I just need to keep at it, keep at it, keep at it. 

God, I hope I'm making the right decisions.