I have work piling up (as I sit here on the internet), I have classes I need to be keeping up with, blew my all A's with the diversity class, got a sinking B. I have the Praxis tests to take, one in April and a subject area test in June, I want to take a general science as well as a biology test, but I don't know if I can afford it, be sure of passing it, on if its really necessary. So many teachers are teaching areas they've got very little proven expertise in. . .. I want to be able to prove I know what I'm talking about. I have a bladder infection I'm getting over and I feel like I have an ear infection starting . . . I'm falling apart. I had to reup for my lease, they'll let me out of it when I am done, but that means that if the last day of my last class is on July 31, I have to be out by august 1. I don't know where I will be working or what I will be making or who I will get to help me move my stuff. . . In other words, I feel like in a very short time we will be homeless again.
I know I am making mountains out of molehills. I know that. I know I am allowing myself to feel overwhelmed when I need to just suck it up and get to work. But I look at it all, the resumes and the applications and the towns scattered across kansas, the tests and fees and forms, the schools, the interviews, the classes, schools and preschools and daycares for the kids. And I get scared.
So, I'm sitting here. Waiting for the kids to quiet down and go to sleep, waiting for the house to get quiet. Watching Tv that makes me cry, and wishing I had more people to really lean on. Not because I want to be leaning, but because sometimes we all need to lean, and its scary when there's no where to land if you happen to fall.
Wow, that was the opposite of funny.
1 comment:
That does seem a lot, but not insurmountable. One step at a time, and before you know it things will fall into place.
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