A Little Solidarity

So, people have been having a wack at sinlge mother-hood ever since that lady had eight babies. Okay, so lets take a look. Is she sinlge? Is she nuts to have had so many single and keep going back for more? yes and yes. But look at somethign people keep forgetting -  She has managed to give birth to eight babies that all sirvived. That is a miracle of modern medicine! If it was a young couple we would be jumping for joy, and look at jon and kate, they had twins already when they ended up with six. They were both unemployed when the babies were born. And people were lined up to donate diapers and formula and people volunteered to come help with the babies and do laundry. So, from that point of view, I'm saying, lets quit the hating okay. 

I know, how could she, she's on foodstamps. Well, I'm on food stamps. Even a fulltime teaching job hasn't gotten me off of them. Okay, so she has a couple of her kids on SSI. Well, don't disabled people in this country have that right? As a parent, isn't it your job to make sure your kids have access to what they are entitled to? Again, I don't see a huge problem there. Now, she was on food stamps and a 'student' and already had six when she went back for more implantations.  Okay, that was nutty, but was it any nuttier then I was a few years ago?

I walked down the isle with a guy who I already knew was not the man I wanted. I married him and got pregnant by him, and then left him. Pregnant, now single mom of two, no job, no home, no address. It was nuts!

I knew it was nuts. But what other choice was there? NOt have Noah, that seems unthinkable at this point. I slept in dad's livingroom for six miserable months. I lived in that frigid, underheated home with step siblings who stole from me, a step mother who refused to speak to me or give me a ride anywhere, and a dad who didn't feed my kid when I worked evenings. It was the not feeding the kid while I worked, and the being pregnant that lead me to quit my job. 

But you know what, I survived. Did I use the resources out there? you bet I did. I had foodstamps, cash and housing assistance. I eventully found a job that aid all of $600 a month, and managed to get off the cash. Of course the daycare benefit I now qualified for was more then the cash asisstance I had been on. But for all intents and purposes, it's been steady improvement. 

So what if the Octomom sold th rights to her kids' pictures for lots of cash, she has lots of kids, she needs the money! SO what if she's a sinlge mom, she has lots of help in place. 

Is it ever a good thing to remove kids from their loving hard working parents, no. Is she doing what she needs to get them all provided for? Yes. Do her children need to hear the nasty things being said and writen about her? No child does. 

I say leave the woman alone. She hasn't proven to be a rotten parent. She may be a little nutty, but who isn't. 

And while we're at it, lets just try to get the culture in general to be nicer to all single moms. We work hard, we carry a lot of stress and we generally don't have all the help we want to have. We don't need to be second guessing other people's parenting choices, or their financial situations. I only get support from one of my children's fathers. And he pays less then $150 for two children. The other just lives underground so he doesn't have to pay. 

I know some sinlge moms were smarter then I was. They didn't end up pregnant at 16 and didn't go on to marry the asshole later. I understand that there are people out there who haven't lived hand to mouth their entire adult lives. What I don't understand is why people will equate financial status with personal worth. 

Okay that's enough.