Better/Worse

Sometimes both at the same time. 

In california they are talking about firing teachers to deal with budgeting shortfalls. I guess I should feel glad that this part of the country didn't see the realestate boom that the rest did, now that its gone bust, we aren't hurting as much. That being said, there are several manufacturers that have laid off workers and closed up shop. 

I totally blew the healthy eating thing today and I feel terrible. Physically terrible. I voerslept this monring and didn't have time to make lunch or breakfast or even some tea to take with me. I ended up have cookies out of a machine for breakfast, nothign to drink because the vending machines for soda were empty. For lunch I had what the school caf served, under cooked chicken nuggets with under cooked tater tots and the worst excuse I have ever seen for strawberry shortcake. It was a plain pie pastry baked in a tiny custerd dish, with sugared strawberried in it. No cake. No icecream. It was gross and it made be so sick that I had to leave work because I felt like I would throw up. 

Ended up driving home and laying down for an hour just hoping to feel better. I don't know if it was the dairy, the fat content, the sugar or the bad carbs, but it made me terribly ill. Sad thing is that I still crave that kind of food and every time I slip, its hard to get back into the habit of being good. I know I feel better when I avoid high sugar and high fat foods, that I feel better when I drink iced tea with a bit of honey (about a quarter cup in two quarts, adds about 250 caloris to the whole pitcher) then when I drink either diet or sugared soda. SO why the hell do I let myself slip? I don't know, but it needs to stop. 

My phone is off. I'm on a family plan with dad's phones (because I couldn't buy toilet paper on credit) and they haven't been paying the bill. Now we seem to be shut off. I think I may see about paying off the cancelation fee and seeing if I can get a phone in my own name, I have a significant "nickel" comeing to me, I guess I can use it to pay the deposite. I am an adult, I guess I can act like one. 

lets see, I hope everyone is staying warm this winter. Its chilly here, even though it is above freezing.