Did you ever

Feel untalented, unwanted and unattractive, all in the same day. And then realize that the fact that you had slept in five yours later then normal and hadn't bothered to put on "real" clothes might have something to do with it? 

Well, that was my Jan 1 in a nutshell. It wasn't a terrible day. I tried out a new "healthy" recipe which Isaiah refused to eat. He refused to eat last night as well. I think if he keeps this up I am going to hide all the snack food, cause he ate through a bag of oranges yesterday, after not eating. I figure snacks are a priviledge, you eat what you are served. Especially when mom went to the trouble of actually attempting to cook (and did a damn good job, it were tasty).

So what else, I thinknoah has had a relapse of the ear infection, another long crying jag today after the nap. I will try to get him into the docs tomarrow. Which I guess is okay, I was thinking I might be getting together with someone, but they haven't emailed me back and I hate having to hound people, either hang out and be my friend or tell me you don't want to. Don't leave me in limbo. I guess if i weren't so antisocial, it wouldn't sting so badly. 

I will be glad to get back into the routine of work and daycare and school. (ugh, class every week this semester, not going to be fun.) But I wil lbe finished after the summer semester and then things will be less crazy, until I get in over my head with something else again. It seems like I have a knack for keeping myself very busy. 

So, the kids are finally calmed down, and I am sitting here talking myself out of running out for an icecream cone. I really really need to get my eating habits and weight under some kind of control. I have spent the past two days making healthy foods, that I had to go buy becuase there weren't any in the house, and I honestly feel good about it. instead of soda, I make a big pitcher of iced tea with just a little honey to sweeten it (honey is also supposed to be good for arthritis I don't know if it is, but can't hurt). I have avoided concentrated sugars and fatty foods. 

when people say that sugar and fatty foods are addicting, i think they may be right, because I know I am not hungrey, I ate a big piece of chicken with a side of steamed veggies for dinner, but I REALLY want an icecream, and I am sure its a reaction to not having the treats I am used to having. Must be strong, I'm an adult, surely I can control myself. Surely.

So, anyway. Feeling a little stir crazy and a little cabin fevery and hoping tomarrow is at least more productive then today was.